


Alter File.

by MartianSheepy (orphan_account)



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Gay, Gay Josh, Gore, M/M, Pansexual Tyler, Psychic Abilities, Self-Harm, Sexual Assault, Suicidal Thoughts, alternative universe, joshler - Freeform, twenty one pilots - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 18:52:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 36
Words: 23,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9507404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/MartianSheepy
Summary: Tyler.he's simplya loner.Everyone else can say that.But he won't.He knows for a fact that he has no friends.And he always sits alone.But is he really alone?Tyler Joseph, the kid who can see crazy shit.They say he used to have a disgusting friend.NamedBlurryfaceTyler has something new hanging around himIt drums when there's a crowd, and only shows himself to Tyler.It carries a snare drum around him, and has a muffler over his mouth and nose.He never talks.Blurryface used to always talk.Blurryface told Tyler horrible things.But who's this person?And why are they here?Tyler can see darkness resonate from certain people.Those people are at risk, aren't they?They're in risk of coming contact with those things."Whoever has that hazy cloud around their head, they have secrets.""I'm not getting involved.""y o u  s h o u l d.""I ' l l  f o l l o w  y o u  u n t i l  y o u  d o."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy! I worked really hard on this fanfic, and I'm posting on Ao3 for the first time! (I deleted another fanfic but it was up for like a few hours lmao)

_"Where's all your friends?"_

_"....."_

_"Talk to me, will ya?"_

_"Why don't you have any friends? Maybe then you could stop bothering me."_

_"Aw, hey. Aren't you my friend?"_

_"You're not my friend."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Just be quiet."_

_"No."_

_"I'm going to bug you forever and ever."_

  
_"Goddammit, leave me alone...."_

  
_"I won't."_

  
_He kept me awake that night._

  
Blurryfucker.

Though he's not real,  
I hate him.  
He's always there.. in the back of my mind, telling me shit I don't need to hear.

Stuff like...

_"Why are you alive?"_

_"No one cares about you."_

 

  
Ugh. I hate it, honestly.  
Who wouldn't?  
I can't just make it stop either.

 

Every day, I walk through the halls of that gross ass school....

I see... creepy things coming from everyone's back.  
Everything is so vibrant still.

I can even see it on adults.

Most of it's extremely vibrant, and neon.  
But it shape shifts.

 

I've decided to call them Alters.

  
That girl I saw earlier today,  
She's my partner in science class.  
Dark goth hair in pigtails,  
Her alter was a parrot.

As I spoke, she narrowed her eyes at me, and the parrot's eyes blew up.

  
Her alter squished and mushed itself into a splattered mess, and crawled on her back.

"Speak up, will you?? I can't hear a single thing."

  
It was this way ever since I was born.  
I hated being in crowds, because all I could see were people, and above those people, hovered creepy multicolored monsters of deformed personalities.

Though I got used to it.

When someone was happy, their alter looked normal, but still horribly colored.

If my mind was a person, the first thing I'd say to it would be-

  
_"You have a horrible choice in color schemes."_

I hated the colors.  
They made my eyes hurt.

 

 

 

  
Dark colors swirled in my mind, and eyes opened.  
Not mine.  
But those eyes...  
They glowed.  
Not a nice color, like a glaring white.  
I don't like bright colors anymore.  
Especially not if they don't fit.  
Things got astray, and I woke up in the middle of the night, sweaty, and breathing heavily.  
It feels like my chest is closing in.  
I don't like it one bit.

 

"..... blurry face...?"

  
"You there...?"

He didn't respond.

"What's going on...?"

 

 

It was a Monday.  
And when I put on my clothes for school, and saw myself in the mirror, I almost shrieked.  
I turned around, and saw this taller figure.

This isn't blurryface.  
I've never gotten to see blurryface, but....  
This boy isn't talking.  
I was suddenly shrouded in fear.

  
The boy seemed to be in his later twenties, his mouth and nose covered with a muffler, his hair a mess, and his clothes white.  
He only wore shorts and tights underneath the shorts.

with sneakers.

 

  
Though he still creeped me out.  
He had this snare drum resting on his body.

His eyes weren't visible, they were covered by a dark faded cloud.

  
"You must be the replacement." I muttered towards him.  
He didn't move.  
He didn't say anything either.  
I saw the same vibrant colors on his hair.  
"Ew." I said towards him.

Where ever I went, he followed.

 

"Say something. This is just damn creepy."

He didn't oblige.

  
I expected him to do nothing in the crowds at school.

His hands started fading by turning into this dark red mist.  
He began to frantically drum on his little snare drum, trying to get the mist away.  
I couldn't see his eyes. I couldn't see his mouth, but he looked scared.  
He kept drumming, and even over time, the mist came back.  
He began to drum louder.  
I covered my ears.  
I gotta get out of here. My ear drums are gonna burst.  
He never ran, because I never ran.

  
Though I still pushed through the crowds, and tried to cover my ears at the same time.

As soon as everything clear, and I was in class, his drumming began to calm down.  
I gave him this disgusted look, as if I disappointed in him.

He looked down at his drums, and slowly stopped drumming.

He let his arms fade away a little bit.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Kid.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler can't get used to this new blurryface.
> 
> ((The new blurryface is not Josh in this fanfic.))

~~~~

First period finally ended.

The new blurryface started to drum again in the halls.  
He doesn't like people.

  
After a few more classes, it was lunch.  
Many of us waited in the lunch line to buy our food.  
The boy stood behind me, and after I ate, alone, I got up.  
"Can you... not watch me creepily while I'm trying to have lunch?" I muttered.  
I can't say this loudly.  
People will think I'm crazy.

  
Suddenly, another kid ran into me, head butting into my chest.  
I heard laughter coming from a couple of meters away.  
The boy sobbed, and stumbled as he kept running.  
My eyes widened.  
I started to think about that boy who ran into me, and the creepy new blurryface behind me.

  
They looked scarily similar.  
"Who.... is that....?"

 

The kid who was crying had a dark glittery aura around him, looking like a sad galaxy.  
It was pretty.  
But...  
It's definitely not good.

He began drumming again.

 

 

"Seriously.. can you stop it...?! Your hands.... aren't even fading away...!! What do you want?! Who is that fucking boy?!"

I yelled at him in the forest.  
No one would hear me cuss, and scream at myself.

"Stop drumming!! It's so goddamn loud!!"

 

 

  
He drummed through my sleep, even.  
I wanted to punch him in the face.  
I grabbed his stupid little muffler, and yanked it off.

  
I couldn't even touch him.  
My hand just went straight through.

  
I got no sleep.

He continued to drum as I walked to school, walked in the hallways, sat in class, walked out again, and through lunch...

I began to walk back home from school.  
His annoying drumming stopped.

"Jesus, finally. You were so damn annoying this whole fucking time." I accidentally said out loud.

The boy in front of me turned his head sadly.

"I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to ram into you-"

"H-huh? I wasn't... sorry. I wasn't talking to you."

His hair was dyed vibrantly, but it didn't fit his alter.  
The dark clouds curled around his back, and grew like a fungus.  
It looked like it was choking him now.

"O-oh... I-I'm sorry.... I-I didn't know... I can't even apologize normally.... I hate myself...." he mumbled the very last bits.

 

 

The blurryface rattled on his drum.  
"No. I'm not gonna do this." I whispered quietly.  
"I don't even know him."

After walking for a long while, the kid turned to an alleyway.  
"What the hell...?" I muttered.

Hey I continued walking.  
The blurryface kept up with the rattling sounds, but louder.

"Stop it."

  
"Stop...!" I whisper-yelled.

 

After a while of listening to his loud and obnoxious drumming, I threw myself on the bed and covered my ears.  
His drumming just got louder.

"Ugh... shut up!!" I punched my desk.  
Pain rushed through my fist.

There was a bruise.  
He wouldn't stop still.  
I punched the desk again.  
But my hand scratched the edge of a broken chair. It left a cut slithering across my fingers.  
"Ow...!!" I hissed.

Suddenly, the blurryface's fingers burned off.  
The dark clouds around his eyes got transparent.  
I could see actual fear in his eyes.

They regenerated like gross monsters, but the look in his eyes still freaked me out.

 

He looked down again, and his hands dropped by his sides, sadly.

 

"Tyler...?! What's wrong.....? What's happening...?!" My mom rushed into my room, and saw the cut on my fingers.

 

  
The best day, I had all kinds of bandages on my fingers.  
It wasn't that bad, but my mom freaked out from all my screaming.

I sat down, and saw that kid in the corner of my class room, holding his head and gripping onto his hair like he was insane.


	3. The dark ones hold secrets.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler gets to know that boy better.

 

"What's your first name?"

"..... J-....Josh......." he whispered quietly.

  
"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Could you please say that again? No can hear you."

  
"J....Josh......" he said, a tiny bit louder, but it still sounded quiet.

A girl with curly blonde hair snorted.  
_Her alter ripped out its own hair._  
"Still can't hear him!" She called.

  
".... I-it's..... J-Josh......" his tiny voice began to shake.

"Ugh. I hate kids like this. No one can hear them. It's not that hard to-"

"I-I think he said his name was Josh." I called out.

The boy held the back of his hair, fearfully.  
He covered his face.  
_The black fungus-like alter grew on his back, vibrating, and getting bigger._  
I seriously began to feel bad for him.

  
He slowly got up.

"Okay then, Josh. This is Josh Dun. He just transferred-"

Josh ran out the door, seemingly in tears.

  
"Ha. Pussy." One classmate snorted.

"I-I'll... go after him if you want."

  
"Gay."

"I'm pan... but sure." I rolled my eyes.

The teacher sighed.  
_His alter shivered._  
"Sure.. I'll have to start this lesson soon. It'll have to begin without you two if you'll go after him."  
I searched throughout most of the school.

The roof was off limits to students, but I saw the door open, and swinging.  
I gently pushed it, and saw the poor boy sobbing to himself again.  
_The darkness growing in his back was heavy, and hard to carry._  
I quietly walked towards him.  
"..... Josh... right? Your name was.. Josh.." I asked.  
He pursed his lips, and stared into the light blue sky.  
Tears kept falling down his face, but he tried his best to shut up.  
And he failed.  
"H-hey man.... it's okay...." I sat down next to him.  
He continued to cry.

".... your hair is... really vibrant."

  
The look on his face.

 

"D-don't cry....! I-I didn't meant it like that...! I-I...."

I sounded like I was disgusted by it.  
Of course, I don't like vibrant colors.  
They make me feel sick.  
But his hair feels nicer somehow.

"hey.... wanna tell me what's going on? Maybe at home...? Or at school? Anywhere, really."

He looked at me.  
"Wh-wha....? Don't you have class....? You don't have time to ask me-"  
"I'm willing to spend some of my time to figure out what's going on. I'm Tyler Joseph."  
Tears still fell from his face, but he stopped wailing.  
He'd probably start up again, but...  
I stopped it for now.  
"I.... I just get bullied... a lot. Th-that's.... that's all..." he looked away.

His alter swayed like it was in the wind.

"I moved classes so I wouldn't come in contact with them, but it doesn't seem to be much better..."

"...."

"I-is... something wrong...?"

"The bullying part.... that's not just it, isn't it?" I asked.

_The black fungus-like creature grasping onto his body swayed back and forth even more._

He's lying.

  
"I-... I'm sorry. I can't talk about that..."  
"I won't judge you."  
"W-we really gotta go down now. People will figure it out.. they'll know..." he got up.  
"Know... what...?" I asked.  
He grabbed my hand, and pulled me back into the building.

 

  
He went into the alleyway again today.

The Alter Josh began drumming.

"Stop it." I whispered again.

  
"I'm not going in there. Leave me alone, please." I quickly rushed away.

 

 

  
It was 12:00 in the morning.

 

"Fuck. Why am I doing this?" I muttered to myself.  
Well, to... Alter Josh as well.  
He was standing there, listening to everything I said without replying.  
I held a flashlight in my hands, and I slowly walked into the alleyway.

but I would never actually get in there that night.


	4. Creepy Psychic Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler finds out that his "companion" can do simple things.
> 
>  
> 
> Maybe he's real, after all.

"Hey... um... Josh, could I ask you a question?"  
"Do you wanna come over today? To my house? Cause... you know... I was just wondering. Maybe we could hang out or something."  
Josh's eyes glittered with warmth.  
"I'd... love to.. but... um.. I have things to do... I'm sorry, haha..." he laughed nervously.  
It's swaying again.

".. what do you do after school? When you... go into that alleyway, ya know? I've been wanting to ask you, but... I just wanted to know.."  
"... um... well..." he looked to the side.

".... it's... um... I-I'm..."

  
"Do you... not wanna tell me?"

"N-no...! I mean... I-... I'm not..."

"That's fine, I don't mind, really. But... I've been noticing something creepy on you."  
"Huh?"  
I gently took his arms, and pulled up the sleeve.  
A large bruise streaked across his arm.  
Not like a small tiny circle of blue.

It covered a large part of the inside of his forearm, same size as a brick.

Josh's eyes widened, and he quickly pulled his sleeve down.

"H-how'd you see tha-.... I mean... I never... I never noticed this...! I don't get.... this isn't right. It..."

  
_"Why is it still here? I didn't think people would notice it."_

 _I turned around._  
_Faded drumming._  
_The Alter Josh breathed out those words, a shrill and wired voice._

  
"Josh, you're glad I'm the only one who saw that.. no. Not only just that. There's more."

Josh's eyes looked full of panic.  
His alter swelled.

"Your thighs. They have cuts and bruises all over."

"My thighs... how can you see my thighs....?"

"They're there. I know for sure."

"Look, Josh... I'm just worried. I really really am...-"

 

"T-Tyler I.."

"Even on your neck, there's purple on your neck, Josh..."

I said, my words turning into pained whispers.

  
"I really don't want to see you like this... you couldn't even walk yesterday. What happened to your leg...?"

"Tyler... I'm sorry. I... I can't tell you. They know everything."

  
".....then......"

 

 

"Who is it?"

 

Josh tried to run out the classroom door.  
It was locked.  
"Tyler...! Please let me leave...!" He cried.

My eyes widened.  
"J-Josh..."

"I didn't see you lock the door..!! Who did it...?!"

"People just walked out of the room....! Why is it locked...? Tyler....!!"  
_Josh's Alter was mutating. It got bigger and bigger by the second._

"How'd you see my thighs?! My legs.. and my arms.... how are you the only one who saw them....?!"

  
"Josh... calm down!!" I shouted at him.

He stopped, and he shook.  
He began to cry.

I balled up my fist.  
"You did it, didn't you...?" I muttered to the figure behind me.

"..... h-....huh....?" Josh's beautiful teary eyes looked at me, feeling hurt at my statements again.

".... I'm sorry, Josh."

 

"You can leave now.."

"I-I can't.... the door's lo-"  
He tried to open it, and it opened.

".... h...how....-"

"You can... do whatever you need to now. I won't stop you." I mumbled.

 

Plan failed.

 

 

".... what should I call you? I can't call you Josh, since... if I accidentally say something out loud... and Josh thinks it's him..."

".... I don't wanna call you blurryface. Sure, you don't talk shit about my life like he did, but you drum way too much. I hate it."

  
"... so.... who are you?"

 

"Can you move things?"

 

Then I thought to myself.  
What if I treat him with kindness?

  
".... sit down here. I don't know if you get tired from standing all the time, but maybe you should sit down for a sec."

".... were you the one who locked the classroom door...?"

  
I saw the dark clouds around his eyes go up in smoke.

  
".. still won't say anything. Right."

"Then can you write things down? Like... hi, or something."

 

He just sat there, doing nothing.  
I'm not making progress.  
I sighed.

"Take off your drums for a second."

He shook his head.

 

"...."

He actually responded...?


	5. First Mission.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler's new "blurryface" wants to save the shitty school.

~~~~

".... how about.... ghost? I'll call you ghost."

".... alien?"

  
"..... alien it is....."

  
"Then... could you bend spoons or something? Something weird? Funny? We could do stuff together. You want to help Josh, right? We could be able to help Josh, if you listen."

 

I thought all night.  
Plans.  
Stuff that I could do.  
I'm not a smart kid, but I'm trying my best here.  
I have this creepy ghost following me.  
I wanna use him to the best of my ability.  
I fell asleep in my chair.

 

 

  
Josh glanced at me every now and then in class, but he tried to keep away from my gaze.  
He's probably scared of me.

But I saw burning in a dark smoke cloud at the class podium.

  
I ignored it, since it might have been that alien playing tricks on me.  
When it was lunch, everyone rushed away to the cafeteria.  
I grabbed my stuff.

The alien squatted down to the podium, and held out his hand, ushering me to come over.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, then walked over.  
He pointed at a tiny locked cabinet.  
"I can't get in through there. Plus, I gotta have lunch. I'm hungry-"

He unlocked it.

The teacher left the room when lunch started, so it was just me and him.  
Or just me and me.

I groaned, and pulled open the cabinet.

  
A dark clouded gun.

  
"...... is that...- no way. There shouldn't be a gun in here."

  
He's warning me.

 

  
I heard a lock click to my left.

The teacher stood there, looking at me solemnly.

"....."  
Fear engulfed me.

The alien stared back at the teacher, his eyes still faded with clouds.

  
"You found out, huh?"

"H-hey... look.... I-I won't tell anyone. I swear. Please just-"

 

 

He lunged at me.

  
I saw something shining at his hands.  
I shut my eyes tightly, bracing for pain.

 

Nothing happened.  
I just heard something metal drop to the floor, and gargling.

  
"....."

The alien was holding that crazed man up.

  
By his neck.

  
The teacher looked down at me, obviously freaked out.

  
"... c-can you... see him?" I asked.

  
The man looked at me, his eyes full of disgust and anger.

"....."

 

He looked like his throat was being crushed.

  
"Drop him, alien."

  
"... drop him..."

  
"Dude...! I said drop him....!! You're gonna suffocate him to death....!"

"Stop it....!" My heartbeat started up.

I panicked.  
If the man dies, I would have been the one to kill him.

 

"I won't get... involved if you don't let go...!!" I yelled.

The alien dropped the man.  
I didn't expect that to work.

Even if that was a lie.

 

"S-someone....!!" I ran to the door, and it was still locked.  
"What the hell....?!"

 

 

 

"Alien... open it for me...!"  
"Open it...!!"

  
"Wh-.... what are you doing...?!" I turned to the Alter, who stood there, as if ashamed.  
"Please....!! I need your help....!"

 

The teacher got up sluggishly.  
He grabbed the gun in the podium.  
"Open it...!! Open it...!" I cried.

"Please please please....!!" I screamed.

  
The door clicked.  
Josh opened it, fearfully.

"T-...Tyler...?"

 

"No...!!" I yelled.  
I ran to cover Josh, and I soon heard a gunshot.

 

I opened my eyes.  
Josh had his eyes shut too, as he was bracing for impact.  
He opened his eyes slowly as well.

 

".... T-....Tyler....?"

 

"T-Tyler...?!" I could see the darkness on Josh's back swell again.

 

I turned around, and I saw the alien, blocking all the gunshots towards me.  
"Tyler.... how... are you...-"  
I pulled him away into the hall, and pulled out my phone as soon as possible.

  
"Ty......? How are you still alive.....?" Josh looked shrunken and scared.

 

"T-that's not a problem right now.... I gotta the call the cops... crazy teacher had a gun..."

 

 

 


	6. Ended Re

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all about how he's being used. Something new to take note of;
> 
> Tyler's energy drains as his mind walks.

The cops came and the teachers put the man down.  
His alter was.. still neon and druggy looking.  
I never liked him, but it looked crazy.  
 _His alter, it jumped in glee and danced._  
 _Alters are weird._

News went around the school, but no one said the truth.  
It was all...

  
"This teacher goes insane and manages to shoot a kid"

  
No one knows who that kid is, but I certainly didn't get shot.

The alien didn't appear for the rest of the day, which got me on edge.

 

"Hey um.... Tyler...." Josh walked up to me after class.

"....yeah....?"

".... I wanted to say sorry.. for... yesterday. I acted kinda weird back there.. now I know you were just worried for me..." he looked sad.

I walked over to him, my legs suddenly feeling light.

I hugged him tightly, and almost even picked him up.  
He was just so light, and adorable.  
He was like a teddy bear.

I saw Josh's Alter turn into a mellow, sweet pink.

When I put him down, his face was red, and he looked terribly embarrassed.

_so cute..._

I giggled, and tried to contain myself.  
I soon began to laugh like crazy.  
Everything went dark.

 

 

  
"T-Tyler....! You woke up.... thank good... I thought you died back there.. what happened....?"

I turned my head, and saw the alien standing beside the couch.

".... is this... the nurses office...?"

"Yeah.... are you okay....?" Josh looked really scared.

"Yeah... I think I know why I passed out..."

"Why...?"  
"Um... kinda.. like... uh...." I turned to alien.  
He didn't move.

"I guess I was feeling kinda nervous about what happened earlier today... in the classroom."

  
"H-hey... don't you need to go to that alleyway...? I mean... it seems like it's really important...."

".... I decided.. to stay with you this time."

"Thanks..!" I smiled brightly.

His alter turned into that same pinkish color.  
He gave me this giddy smile, and had pink cheeks.

Then suddenly, it seemed as if he was battling his emotions.  
It went from pink to dark blue and black again to pink.

  
".. is something wrong?"

".... it's.. Friday, right? I feel... kinda nervous."

"About what...? You can tell me if you want to.."

"..... I feel that.... I had to be at the alleyway... early. But...."

"Do you have a specific time to meet at the alleyway..? Who's waiting for you there...?"

  
I looked at the door.

The alien tapped against the knob.

  
"... did you... lock the door...?"

  
Josh looked scared.  
"..... I... n..- yeah.... I'm sorry... it's just that-"

  
"Hey! Who's in there?! Where ever that fag is, we'll be seeing you soon!" A bunch of kids laughed loudly and Josh covered his head with his arms.

They bashed on the door.  
"Open up!"

"Open the fucking door! We know you're in there!"

I pulled Josh into my chest, and held him gently.

  
"Open up...!!"

  
"If you're not coming out now, it'll be more painful when you actually come, slut!"

  
Josh began to tear up.  
I rested my cheek on the top of his head.  
"Don't listen to them. They're wrong."  
I looked at the alien, standing by the door.  
He didn't seem alarmed, though he did drum a quick rattling beat.

 

They left, laughing, and saying horrible remarks.

"I can't wait to see his fucking face when he realizes what he has in store!"  
"He's going to regret it so much...!"

 

 

"You're not gonna go see them, are you...?"

"I have to.. they know where I live.. if I don't go by today... they'll burn down my apartment."

"... you... live in an apartment? With who?"

  
"... I live alone... so.."

"Josh.... you can't go to them. You gotta come to my place or something... you can't-"  
"I'm not welcome anywhere.... I'd love to go, Tyler... but..."

  
"They're waiting.... so.... I'll be going now... sorry, Tyler..."

  
The black clouds of fungus crunched and swelled.


	7. You Alien.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being annoyed for an extremely long time by alien's drumming, Tyler caves in, and saves Josh.
> 
>  
> 
> He sees something he didn't expect.
> 
> And now he's made a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Warning: sexual assault!!))

Back at my room, the alien wouldn't stop drumming.

"...... I know. I know, I know, I know I know I know.....!"

"...... I... I gotta go after him. But... I don't know how he'll react..."

 

".... Hey... you..... I need your help, and I need lots of it. Try your best. Don't... fail me."

"Don't make me pass out like earlier."

"Can you do that...?"

 

It shook his head.

I sighed.  
"... thought so. Then.. what are you willing to do? Are you... able to take down a group of kids...? They may be a lot, but they're kids.."

He didn't reply, of course.

  
"I'm doing it anyway. I don't know what's going to happen to Josh, or me... but I've gotta save him."

I got a flashlight, and a knife just in case.

"Tyler...? What're you doing...? Where are you going...?" My mom saw me opening the door.

  
"... I'm.... going to a friend's..." I muttered.

"Be safe, okay?"

"I will."

I rushed out the door, and ran.

 

  
As I saw the alleyway in front of me, I hesitated to walk in.  
I got nervous.

Then I turned around.

  
"... I don't know if I'm ready for this. I'm kinda scared.." I mumbled.  
He just stood there.  
"Not gonna say anything.. huh? I expected that."  
I walked in, slowly, and lightly.

  
There was a tunnel down there, with stairs.  
I crept down as quietly as possible.

As I kept walking, I was hoping for Josh to have been gone by now, since it was pretty damn late.  
It was 10 pm.

  
But he wasn't.

  
And he wasn't alone either.

  
"Get your ass over here!!" A boy grabbed Josh by his hair, and pulled him back.  
"Do you want me to bash your other leg with this?!" He held up a smashed alcohol bottle, the broken glass looking terrifyingly sharp.  
Josh had his mouth gagged.  
He sobbed, and shook his head violently.  
Girls and boys were all watching him suffer from behind, laughing at him.

"Shove this up his ass!" One of the kids tossed an empty plastic water bottle towards the boy.  
Josh wasn't wearing a shirt.  
His back was covered in large scratches and scary bruises.

They pulled down his pants, and began to insert random things into him.

Josh screamed.  
I couldn't move.

"He's a fucking slut! Look at him! If he wasn't a boy, I bet he'd be fucked all the time! I bet he likes this. He's gay anyway!"  
They all laughed and jeered as Josh screamed and shook violently.  
His body looking horribly wounded and damaged.  
He didn't need to be sexually assaulted.  
He didn't need any of this.  
He doesn't deserve it...!  
Someone gave that fucked up boy a large branch.  
Josh let out another blood curdling scream as he felt it being crushed into him.  
His insides must've been burning.

 

It's fucked up.  
This is all fucked up.

  
A girl had a snooty expression on her face, and scoffed.  
"Who's he? What's he doing here?"  
The boy assaulting Josh looked at me.  
"Oh look! It's him! It's that boy you fucking love. What if we did the same things to him too?! I bet you'd love to see that too!!"

_Josh's alter mutated, and grew like never before._

_This is his anxiety. This is his dread._

 

 

  
Josh was hyperventilating.  
He dropped to the floor, and twitched violently, still crying.

_Almost dying._

  
I just stood there, unable to move suddenly.

This is fucked up.  
All of it.

  
"What the hell, kiddo?! Think you're a big shot?! Then do something!!" He walked up to me wit his stupid little walk, and pushed my shoulder.

"Move!! Move, jackass!! You wanna save your little baby?! Then do something!!"

  
"Come on! I wanna start a fight! Let's go!!"

 

My heartbeat was never as loud as this.

 

_"Kill them."_

_I whispered._

  
_I probably shouldn't have._

 

 


	8. He has feelings. Don't make him leave.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh gets to see the light of.. Tyler.  
> Again.
> 
>  
> 
> He's glad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoLY SHIT
> 
> OH MY GOD IM CRYING THERE ARE TWO COMMENTS THANK I FEEL BLESSED
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sorry lmao no one ever comments on wattpad and this is new for me thank you to whoever commented or will comment because you are a blessing

He grabbed the boy by the neck, and held him up, just like he did in that classroom.  
The kids from behind were suddenly screaming.

The girl from earlier started crying.

The alien bashed him to the floor, and lifted him up again.

I couldn't say anything.  
I couldn't move.  
I tried.  
I tried to take a single step, but I suddenly couldn't.  
This is what I get for wishing death.  
Josh was still on the floor, looking like he was in a seizure.  
I wanted to help him so badly, he looked so broken and torn apart.  
He couldn't move either, his eyes were glued to the ceiling, and I could see his chest rapidly inflate and deflate with air.  
His lungs shaking, his body feeling contorted.

Another boy ran up to me, and tried to punch me.  
I winced, but the alien grabbed his head, and squeezed it.  
I felt like sobbing.  
I can't say anything, I can't move.  
I'm killing people.  
I don't wanna kill people.  
I'm not a murderer. Don't do this.  
Stop it... stop it right now..  
Stop it...!!

 

_"..... sto....p...... or else.... I'll.... hate you forever....." I croaked out._   
_Tears dropped down my face._

  
_Dammit...._

_I wished blurryface was back...!_   
_I don't like this 'thing' at all..!_   
_Blurryface didn't make me a bad person, he did...!!_

  
_I glared at the creepy figure._

Suddenly, everything stopped.  
The creepy ghost thing following me dropped the two kids.

And he looked down.

  
I wanted to feel bad.

He lowered his head...  
And covered his face, with his large, calloused, fading hands.

One girl ran up to me, and slapped my face.  
She was sobbing in fear, and started running away.

 

My alter ceased to move for a few seconds.

 

 

  
"Josh....!! H-hey...! Can you look at me..?! It's me, Tyler..! I won't hurt you, I swear..! I'm here to save you.... Josh... look at me... please...!"

"Can you see my eyes....? Is your vision okay? Oh fuck... you even have a black eye..."

  
"I-I'm going to pick you up, alright...?"

  
"It'll be okay, Josh...! It'll be okay....!"  
I held him tightly, his head resting against my chest. He continued to shake, of course.  
I took out the gag in his mouth.  
I couldn't find his shirt.  
Together.  
They ripped it up, and left him in the cold every day.

I've never seen someone being picked up like a baby.  
Until now.

Josh's alter hovered above us.  
It was dark, and creepy, and extremely large.  
It hovered over us like an umbrella, but bigger.

And the alien?

He tagged along, but he looked ridiculously ashamed.

 

_Maybe... it's possible that he has feelings...?_

 

  
I ran my way back home, and banged on the door as loud as I could.

It's twelve.  
Why'd this all take so long...?

  
It felt like there were other friends following me.  
Creepy monsters in the dark.  
But... it's just me.  
And I see them all the time.  
I hate them.

  
"Mom....! Mom please...! Josh-... he's practically dying and..-"

"Tyler, hold on. I need you to explain this to me first..-"  
"I can't...!! Not now.... I have to save him first... please...! I need help....!"

My mom saw the genuine tears coming from my eyes.

She couldn't help herself.  
I haven't cried in a long time.  
Not in front of her, at least.

  
Josh was tucked into my bed, covered in bandages and a few ice packs on top of the blankets.  
My mom sat me down.  
"So-"  
"I know what you're gonna say. You want to know why I brought in a horribly bruised and injured boy with tattoos and dyed hair into your house and into your son's bed."

"That's correct." She said, her arms crossed.

  
".... well... first things first... that was Josh... Josh Dun... he's not a bad guy, actually. He's really... really nice. He's shy, and he doesn't have many friends. He lives alone in an apartment, as he gets bullied."

My mom listened closely.

".... and... they get really physical.  
Josh.... he doesn't fight back. And he's just simply.... weak. And he's been sexually assaulted, taunted, bashed, and beat up... solely because of... nothing. Not much that I know, at least. But they kept calling him.. 'fag'... and... 'gay'... I can tell he has anxiety, and he means a lot to me. He's a really good person, and he doesn't deserve any of this. I don't want to see Josh get hurt like this.. so... you understand, right....?" I asked, my eyes turning red and glittery.

 

 

".... I've never seen you talk about someone so sweetly before."


	9. Saved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It sounds like you're in love."

"... huh...? What does that mean...?"

  
"It sounds like you're in love." She smiled sadly.

"O-..Oh... well... maybe it does... but.... is it enough to convince you...?"

She laughed.  
"Sure..."

"Can Josh stay as long as he wants?" I smiled.  
".... I'll think about that..."

  
I sat in my chair for the rest of the night.

Then I looked at the alien, still standing there for me.

  
".... come closer for a sec." I mumbled to him.

He slowly stepped closer.  
I've never seen him look so slow, and sad.

"Bend over. I don't feel like standing up. I'm tired."

Her bent over to my height, like he was bowing down to me.  
I smiled a bit.  
I reached for his fluffy hair.

My eyes widened.

  
 _I could feel it._  
It's so soft.  
I patted his head.  
"I'm sorry for saying all of that. Can you forgive me?" I asked, sounding groggy and tired.

I can't see his eyes, nor his mouth.  
But his cheeks swelled.

I can't hate him if he looks exactly like Josh.

 

 

 

 

_".... Tyler, do you mind if I take pictures of Josh's wounds?"_

 

 

 

 

 

I turned over to Josh, who I wouldn't call exactly... asleep in my bed.  
More like passed out in my bed.  
I wasn't really sure if he'd wake up anytime soon, but I was getting pretty damn tired.

The alter's effect started to take its toll.  
I was getting tired and dizzy.  
I pulled my chair to where Josh was sleeping, and I rested my head and arms on his stomach and chest.  
Of course, I wanted to hold his hand, but I didn't feel like reaching under the blanket.  
And plus, his arm would get cold.  
We even got rid of all the ice packs because of that.  
I felt bad, because Josh had a ton of gashes on his limps, and large bruises that looked extremely painful.  
I weakly looked up.  
Josh's alter was no longer so large.  
It had shrunk down to the size of a sink.

I fell asleep on Josh.

  
Or you can say the blankets.

 

 

 

When I woke up, there was a wrapped up hand gently touching my cheek.  
I gently took it into my own.  
I wiped my eyes a little with my other hand, and sat up.

"Josh...? How are you feeling..?" I tried to smile at him.  
I clasped my hands against his. They were cold.

  
".... Tyler.....?"

"Yep. That's me..."

  
"... I don't... really remember much of what happened... I just remembered them... sticking things inside me... and then everything went weirdly and I felt like I was high or something..." he tried to sit up as well, but he toppled over.  
I tried to catch him quickly.

 

_".... this hurts....much more than I thought....."_

He clung onto my shirt like he was holding for dear life.

 

The dreary flowers on Josh's back grew and grew.

  
_"Why did I wake up?"_

 

  
Sounds familiar.

Sounds like something I would have asked myself.

 

I enveloped Josh in a snug embrace.  
My arms held onto his light ribcage, and heavy heart.

I could see the cuts and bruises on his chest up close.  
He was pale, and his skin was slightly purple.

Even now, his body was still cold.  
Maybe I should get him a shirt.

  
But it seems that he doesn't want me to let go of him.

  
"..... how often do you eat....?" I asked quietly.

 

  
Josh was embarrassed, and even guilty.  
All of his injuries were out in the open.  
He kept telling me lies, and pushed me away.  
But he really did need someone to help him.  
The look on his face was pure death, and his lips quivered.  
Again, I see his teary eyes, waiting to explode with apologies and humiliation.

He bit his upper lip, and his glassy eyes shimmered.  
He broke apart.  
Josh was a crying mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now for the next few chapters, it may seem like a shit ton of fluff, but after that, I'm planning for something to go downhill.
> 
>  
> 
> :)


	10. After this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When we go back to hell, will things be the same?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loVE SEEINGS COMMENTS SO MUCH IM

"Josh-"  
"You're disappointed in me, aren't you...?!" He shivered as he sobbed.  
He was like a little kid.  
".... I'm no-"

"I'm a slut...!! I'm disgusting...! I don't matter to anyone...! If I died, no one would remember me....! No one....!!" He grabbed his hair violently.  
"They all hate me....!" He kept pushing out.  
"All of them...!!"

"Josh, stop it."

  
He inhaled as he suddenly looked at me, his face filled with utter and complete despair for the last time, hearing how tired I sounded.

  
_"He's done with me too...?"_

 

His shaky hand covered his mouth, and he obliged.  
Tears kept running down his face, but keeping him from crying was like choking himself.  
He shook as he tried to contain his tears, but he couldn't hold everything back.

 

  
_"Don't leave me too."_

 

  
"You're not a slut.. you were never a slut. They shouldn't be judging you for being gay."  
"It's all wrong. They can't hurt you like this. They're insane kids. This school sucks."

"No one here is together and happy."

He continued to cry at the sound of my voice.  
I knew I sounded disappointed. I always did.  
I wish I didn't.  
But this wouldn't make me stop talking.

"And... there are people that think you matter. If you ever died, I'd never forget you. I'd be... really sad...."

  
"Josh.. I know this sounds weird but... no matter what happens... I won't leave you. I'll stay by your side forever. Not even until the very end. I'll be here for you forever."

  
"I don't leave you, alright...? So please don't cry.. you're too sweet to be crying."

Although the tears kept coming, I saw a tad smile on his face.  
"You're smiling." I grinned at him.  
He tried to hold it back, but his face was so adorable.  
"Aw, come on.... do I need to tickle you or something..?"

"D-don't...! S-stop Tyler....!!" He snorted, and giggled.

 

"What were you two doing back there...?" My mom put down our plates on the table.  
"Well.... Josh was feeling down so... I tickled him." I turned to Josh and gave him a guilty smile.  
"It was... new.." Josh covered his face with his hand, elbow leaning on the table. Trying not to smile again.  
"I heard crying earlier.. I guess I can understand.." my mom looked at Josh kindly, which made me feel safe.

I could tell Josh felt safe and happy.  
His alter was a nice sweet blue.  
It almost felt as if his anxiety disappeared for a little while.

After a little while, he kept noticing me glancing at him every now and then.

  
"... I-is... something wrong...?"

I looked for his alter, sitting above him.  
It turned into lavender.

".... no I'm just.. I was just distracted by something." I smiled nervously.

 

 

 

"Hey. You must be nervous." I looked at Josh.  
It was Monday morning, and Josh was still staying at my house by then.  
".... I don't wanna go to school...."

"But... I know your mom won't let you stay home... and I don't wanna be without you... I'm scared...." he clung onto my arm.  
I gently touched his hair.  
"I won't let them hurt you, alright?"

 

  
Josh rested his head on the side of my shoulder as we walked through the halls.

His cloud of color turned dark again.

I ruffled his hair.  
It seemed whenever I did something to comfort him, he felt safer.

  
After the first period, Josh stopped in the halls.  
".... what's wrong?"

He couldn't move.  
Then I looked at what he was staring at.

A group of kids.  
The same ones in the tunnel.  
They all stared at him with hatred, and hurried away.  
Josh's alter squeezed shut and inflated again, like a crushed worm or something.  
It was gross.  
He must've been feeling extremely uncomfortable.


	11. It's easy to be a murderer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your secret is out."

".... T-Tyler...?"

"Yeah?"

"U-uhm.... I got.... a note... in my locker."

I rushed over to see what was in his very hands.

  
"You better be at the same place like usual."

 

"T-Tyler.. they follow me around if I don't go...." he began to shiver.

"I'll go with you, and if they do anything, I'll beat their ass."

Josh smiled at me sweetly, and mumbled something quietly. I only heard the "Tyler" at the end of his sentence.

 

 

I went in before Josh did, just to make sure.

The kids looked at me with disgust and fear, almost.

Josh gently grasped on the end of my jacket.

"What do you guys want?" I asked.

_The monsters above them swirled and inflated like gross fishes._

 

  
"That kid."

 

"No. Fuck you." I narrowed my eyes at them.

  
I could feel Josh grab the end of my jacket tighter, out of timidity.

 

"You don't know what we will do."  
"Well I'll prevent it, whatever it is." I said back.

  
Josh wrapped his arms tightly around my stomach, shoving his face into my back.

He's scared. I can't turn around to look back a him now, but I can tell from pure instinct that he's really really scared.

I gently touched his hands at my stomach.  
"Leave him alone. He hasn't done anything wrong."

"What are you, his boyfriend??"

"Sarah, stop it. He's much more dangerous than you think..." another girl whispered to the snooty girl.

"Is that so?? Or were we all fucking dreaming?! Let us see it again. Let us see the fucking ghost bullshit!!!" She yelled.

  
"T-Tyler.... oh god... I'm sorry.... I... I... I didn't think they would target you too...-"

"This isn't any of your fault, Josh. It'll be okay, don't worry."  
I held his hands tightly.

Suddenly I heard footsteps at the stairs behind us.  
I pulled Josh away, quickly.

"Who the hell-...?!"

The two boys that tried to hurt me.

  
The alien stood there, waiting for me to give him a command.

 

"...... show it again."

  
"I'm sorry?"

  
"Show it to us."

  
"Show.... what...?"

 

  
".... that creepy ass thing. You know what I'm talking about."

I looked at the alien, my eyes filled with disbelief.

  
He's real. He can be touched, and he can move things.  
He can hurt things.

 

".... I don't get what you're talking abo-"

"Do it, NOW!! If it's not fucking real, then why did we wake up.. in here, with bruises and cuts?! Why did we lose?! To you?!"

"..... you just lost. It's your fault. Don't mess with Josh." I muttered.

He threw a fist directly at my face.  
I was pushed back.

"Tyler...!" Josh screamed.

  
The alien pulled up his muffler.

  
"Are you going to show it to us? Or not?" He growled in my face. His breath stank.

  
"Even if I did have some creepy shit following me, what would you do? It's not like it matters in any way."

  
"You're a freak. You should be taken into a fucking hospital."

  
"Well I'm not going to one."

  
He punched me again, and I fell to the floor.

Josh began to whimper.

The boy grabbed the collar of my shirt, and my head threw back as he pulled me up like a bag of fruits.

  
"No...! Please... don't hurt him..!! He hasn't done anything wrong..! And I haven't seen anything creepy follow Tyler at all...!" Josh cried.

I looked down, feeling like I just lied to him.

"Look at that!! Look at his expression! He knows! He hasn't told that little gay fag yet, hasn't he?!" The guy pointed at my light body, and laughed like crazy.

The alien rattled his drum rapidly, waiting for any command for me to give him, looking at me anxiously.

Josh bit his lip.  
"Well... I don't care if Tyler has anything creepy about him! He's still really nice to me... and..... I... care for...him..." he mumbled the last bit.

They grabbed his arms and twisted them, leaving him unable to move.  
He cried.

"... fuck... fuck fuck fuck....!!" I cursed.

  
"Just leave him alone... it's not that hard....!"

  
"What will you do?! We can beat him for as long as we want, and you'll watch the whole time...!" He screamed.

  
"Get the brick." He looked at the kids.  
They followed him blindly.

"Lift his shirt up, and we'll be able to see everything."

  
They lifted Josh shirt up, and I could see his ribcage through his pale, tight skin.  
Josh tried his best not to look at me.

He didn't want to beg.

  
They lifted the brick, and he shut his eyes tightly.

  
"No... stop it...!!"

 

"Make them leave him alone!!!" I faced the boy, and screamed right in his face.

 

 

  
I saw the alien's head jerk up, as if suddenly listening.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saved. Again.

Josh opened his eyes.  
The girl holding the brick couldn't move.

 

"You did it!! You couldn't help yourself, couldn't you?! You loved your little bitch so much, that you couldn't watch him get hur-"  
The brick was throw at the guy's arm.  
He dropped me, and himself.

I saw him yell in pain as he held his arm tightly.  
I got up, wiping the blood from my chin hastily.

"... you cunt...!! I'll fucking sue you....! Agh- fuck....!"

  
"..... that was uncalled for.." I mumbled.

The alien stared at me, like usual.

  
"... what the hell... what the fuck....? I... I can't do this. I'm not gonna die. I'm not gonna die...!!"   
One of the kids screamed. They rushed away, and soon, everyone started to follow, leaving in such a hurry.  
I rushed over to Josh, and he grasped onto my hand, and I pulled him away, up the stairs, and we both ran back to my house like crazy.

 

  
My mom questioned the marks on my cheeks.

 

 

 

  
"Tyler Joseph?"  
I snapped awake, realizing I was in reality.

  
Suddenly, all the kids turned their heads to me.

A tall man in a suit stood there, with another guy behind him.  
Both looked extremely important.  
Josh just stared up at them, probably feeling small, and weak. Unable to do anything.  
I meekly stood up, and pushed my chair back.

".... yes...?"

"Please come outside in the hall for a second."

 

  
"You're Joseph, right?"

"T-Tyler.."  
My heartbeat started to kick up.

"I see. So.. recently, we have been getting reports of.. something interesting. People have been talking about a 'ghost-like' figure, hanging around you, and hurting people."

  
Lies. All lies.

  
"..... that's not true... I don't understand why you would look into this. You don't have any proof, so who cares? This is ridicul-" my nervous blabbering was interrupted.

"Tyler, tell us the truth, and we won't take drastic measures."

Everything went silent.  
I could only hear my heart beating loudly.

  
_".... sir? He's turning purple."_

 

  
".... then.... what will you do...? If I tell you the truth...?"

  
I'm so stupid.  
I'm so so stupid.

 

"We'll listen."

I hate these kinds of people.

  
".... I don't hurt people on purpose. I don't... but.. the alien does... and I can't control him. And why I even let him hurt people...? I have a friend... and he gets beaten up a lot... and... abused... I try my best not to hurt anyone... but.. he literally gets tortured... and I feel bad for him.." my voice was shaking.

"A-another thing is.... I can see... people's emotions. As... creepy monsters that mutate and change colors. I sound like a little kid, but it's true. It's how I found that friend. He was struggling with a lot."

 

 

 

 

The man smiled.

"Is that so? I've never heard of that one before. Interesting."

  
Something... is off.

About... his face.

 

  
".... s-so.... what no-....." I couldn't move.  
They got up, and the man who spoke to me out his hand on my back.  
"Thanks for informing me about this."  
I gulped.  
"But, now, we're going to have to talk about your... 'alien'."

  
"Sh... shouldn't I be going back to class now...? I-I mean... we have an important lesson..." I desperately tried to get out of this situation.  
I never thought that telling someone about what I could do would end up like this.

"Oh, it's worth missing. Please follow me."

 

I wanted to cry. I felt so nervous. I felt so scared for my life.  
What would they do?  
What would they do to alien...?

Would they kill him?  
If they kill him, will blurryface come back..?  
Please don't make blurryface come back.

 

  
They drove me to the police station.

  
I'm not used to this place, and never will be.


	13. Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I'll pass out.

_Everyone here has creepy eyes._

I wanted to be eight again.  
I want to drop to the floor and start bawling for my mother.  
Or Josh....  
Oh god please, Josh....

 

  
I was just so freaked out.  
I stayed there for the rest of the day.  
The whole time, sitting in a chair, in a room.  
It got dark.

I had a marble smile plastered across my face.  
Soon, I felt dreaded.  
Dying.  
I'm so scared, I want to cry.

 

"So Tyler.... you call him.. alien?" A woman with blond hair and glasses asked, her eyes popping right out of her eye sockets.  
Her alter croaking like a frog.  
Her smiles are fake, and creepy.

"Y-yep.." I tried to mumble enthusiastically.  
Never done that one before.

"Alright! What does this... 'alien', look like?" Her voice, curling around my neck and into my ears like a slithering snake.  
Too enthusiastic to be real.  
To creepy to be enthusiastic.  
".. h-he... has... dyed hair.... sometimes it changes color... a muffler.. a... a..." my knees shook.  
My brain went astray.

".... a... snare... drum... a-and..." I felt tears well up in my eyes.

  
The door was pushed open, and I saw my mother.  
Her face was full of upsetting feelings, and disturbed eyes.

"My son hasn't done anything wrong. Please let him leave. I won't let you make him cry."

"Make him cry..?! I haven't made him cry! Look right here! He's.. not... crying...!"

The woman grabbed my cheeks tightly.

"He doesn't look scared at all to me. After all, what can you expect from kids with abilities like this?!" She said, sounding slightly insane.

"Please don't touch my child." My mom said quickly.

  
"A snare drum, and?" The woman wrote down something in her notebook, and looked at me, her eyes digging into my soul.  
"A-and... and...."

  
"......please save me."

  
I whispered, only for alien to hear.  
He's there.

Somewhere.  
I could feel an arm gently wrap around the area below my neck.  
I wanted to fall asleep into his arms.

I was scared, and lost...

I felt freaked out.  
Everything was a mess.  
I wish everything was like a file.  
We could just delete it, and it'd be gone.

  
What if... someone didn't have an alter...?

 

I'm so scared.

  
"... Tyler? Tyler, take a deep breath. Tyler, your face is turning red. Tyler!"  
My mom shook me.  
I inhaled.  
My eyes were wide.  
I couldn't move, but my iris darted around the room.

  
"Am I having a nightmare, mom...?"

I squeaked out.  
".. it'll be alright. We'll get out of here. Don't worry."  
"Josh is waiting in my car, and we'll be leaving real soon. Don't worry."

 

"I wanna go home..."  
"L...let me go home...!" I put my hands on my face, trying my best not to cry.

"We need to leave. Now."  
My mom gently pulled me up, and we began to walk towards the door.

"That child is insane, you know? He has imaginary friends. You shou-"

My mom pulled me out the door, and she flung open the car door.  
Josh was in the backseat.  
"T-Tyler...! Are you okay.....?"

I felt so glad to see his face.

"..... I think so....." I smiled a bit.

  
I got in next to him.  
".... the front seat is open.. you can sit there if you wan-"  
"No, it's okay... I'd rather sit next to you."

 

You hurt everyone so it's only fair that you hurt yourself

 

 

 

 

"Hey.. um... Tyler.. I never actually got o see the.. 'ghost' thing everyone's talking about."

".... he's asleep..."

  
"Oh well... maybe it's better for me not to ask."


	14. Lying.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If only"

The next few days,  
Everyone kept crowding around me and Josh.  
They asked about alien, and they asked about what I could see.  
They asked what I could see through them.  
I never replied, and I managed to get Josh and I out of there.

 

"I'm getting kinda sick of this.."  
"..... this is my fault. I'm sorry." Josh mumbled.  
"It's not your fault.. I've had this thing for a while."

"But... I was the one that made it public.." tears welled up in his eyes again.  
"It's alright, Josh. You needed it. It's worth it."

  
"But, now everyone won't leave you alone. And.. heck, people are after you."  
"Are you going to stay here?" He looked up, his eyes glittering.

".... I dunno."

  
_Did I just say that out loud?_

  
I quickly snapped and looked at Josh's face.  
"J-Josh, I-"

"Don't leave because of me....!" He jumped on me.  
"Tyler... I can't live without you.. please don't go-"  
"...."

"Tyler...? Please say something....... I'm getting worried."  
".... I... I'd like to stay. But... if this keeps up.."

I just didn't want to lie to him.  
If I actually did leave, he'd be heartbroken, and alone, and hurt...

"Then I wanna go with you..."

"They come after me even if I go. They'll find us."  
"Then they'll probably find you too!"  
"Yeah... but I don't want you to get hurt."

Josh blushed, but he still looked sad.

  
"... but.. Tyler, I.. I... I love you.." Josh mumbled.

I stopped.

  
"... I'm sorry.. that was a really weird thing to say.." Josh shrank down and hid his face by turning away.  
"I just... I don't want you to leave... please don't leave...."

".... Josh... it's okay, I didn't think that was weird... it made me feel a bit better..." I smiled nervously.  
My face felt a little warmer.  
"I love you too, Josh.. and not the friend way..." I laughed at the last part.  
Josh broke into a huge smile.

"R-really...?!"  
"Yeah..."  
He hugged me tightly, feeling giddy and excited.  
"I'm so glad...! I.. I'm so happy now....!" Josh was bouncing around.  
He was too cute.

 

  
Though, for the next few days?

  
Everyone crowded around me.  
Even random strangers.  
Rumor got out.  
I'm a weird kid.  
Everyone wanted to talk to me, and there were twice as many people.  
Their alters.  
I can't breathe though.  
I was freaked out.  
Josh was now the one to grab my hand and pull me out of that situation.

This went on for a few months.  
It was silent between us two, sitting at the table.  
The phone rang.

"I swear, if it's just another goddamn person wanting to know about me.." I muttered.  
I got up from the chair, annoyed, and walked to the telephone.

  
_"Hello?"_

"Hello."

  
_"Is this the Joseph house?"_

  
_".... yes."_

  
_"Oh! Hey! You must be Tyler. You know Josh, right?"_

  
".... huh? A-are.. you calling for... Josh?"

Josh turned his head, his alter shivering as he watched.

"We are! Um, can you pass the phone to Josh? I wanna speak with him privately."

  
I turned to Josh, though he was already about five inches from my face.  
I sheepishly gave him the phone.  
"Sh-...should I leave...?"

  
He looked back at me, with the telephone to his ear, and just as he was about to say something, I shut the door behind me.

 

 

 

"S-so... who was it?" I smiled nervously, tilting my head a bit.  
".... my mom called me." Josh said, sounding deadpanned.  
".... your mom...? How often does she usually call you?" I asked.  
".... barely, I guess.."  
"What'd you guys talk about..?"  
"... not much."

_Swaying._


	15. Why's that?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He's leaving you."

After another month of getting holed in my random people, Josh suddenly...  
He was cold sometimes.  
It was weird.  
He didn't speak much, and whenever he spoke, it was mostly negative sounding, and unemotional.  
I'm starting to miss his smiles.

  
"... um... Josh...."

"What...?"

"... I love you." I tried to smile a tiny bit, but it looked sorta sad.  
Josh stared at me, his face filled with confusion.

".. are you sad or something..? Did I do something wrong..?"

Damn. He noticed.

"..." I looked down.  
"... I just... felt... it just felt quiet... you know...?" I mumbled, loud enough for him to hear.

He didn't say anything.

"... I love you too, Tyler."

 

Tests.

They kept calling me out of class, and brought me to weird places.

  
Then they made me sit in a weird looking room.  
They made me put on some weird thing on my head, and asked me questions, and made me do stuff.  
Like... flip over cards.  
Or.. move things, with the alien.

Sometimes, the alien got mad.

 

I got nervous whenever they started writing down things.

  
I suddenly felt overwhelmed.

 

I tried to calm myself down.  
He began to drum.  
I desperately tried to think of Josh, to keep me sane, but...  
A weird voice came up.

I... recognize it.

 

 

_"You're so fucking pathetic."_

 

  
I broke out into a ear-wrenching sob, and shriek.  
The alien drummed even quicker, and louder.

"It's him...!! It's fucking him...! He's back...!!" I gasped out, as I pushed away from the table.  
The chair fell back.  
"That voice... I hate him...!!" I screamed, and grabbed my head.

"Tyler, calm down. Who are you talking about?"  
The voice in the speakers said.

"..... you won't believe me... no one believes me....!!"

 

_"Why do you always cry and scream for no reason?"_

 

"Alien....! Why...?! Why is he here..?! Why is he back?!" I looked at him, eyes filled with complete and utter fear.

"... blurryface.....!" I whispered to myself, wanting to faint.

This is the last thing I need.

I ran out the door.

 

"Why was the door unlocked...?! Get back! Tyler, come back right now!"

 

I ran down the hallways.

 

 

  
"He's dangerous. Don't make him leave."

 

 

 

 

 

".... alien, I need to get into that train station now. Forget about what's legal anymore... I have to leave. I can't stay here.."

  
_Then just kill yourself._   
_Josh doesn't love you anymore anyways._

I slapped myself on the cheek.  
The alien quickly looked at me.  
"I'm fine. Let's just go." I muttered.

 

_You're so stupid._   
_You're so dumb._   
_It's all going to end with you getting yourself into trouble._   
_You're putting everyone in your way down, only for yourself._   
_No one likes you._

  
I fell down into the seat.  
I got into a random train. I didn't care where I was going, I just needed to get somewhere.  
Anywhere.  
Someone familiar walked by.  
Perhaps it was just the alien.  
Playing stupid tricks on me.

 

 

No.

  
It's not.

 

  
".... Josh....? What're you doing here....?" I mumbled, and I looked up at him.

"Tyler...? I... I was... I.."

"Where... are you going...?" I got up.

Josh's alter swayed, and fluttered.

There's something wrong.

  
"It doesn't matter." He let those words slip out his mouth.

  
"... huh? What do you mean..? Y-you were supposed to be at my house... and...-"

"Then why're you here...? You don't bring money with you to school." He shot back.

"... Josh.. I-I escaped..."

"Really? Then you shouldn't be asking me why I'm going anywhere."

_I told you. He doesn't love you anymore._

 

  
I stepped back.  
My shoulders relaxed, as if I was giving up.

  
Please shut up.  
Please.  
Don't put me on edge when I want to keep myself alive.

 

Josh doesn't care. He's leaving you.


	16. Self.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate myself."

I began to whimper quietly.  
"... what the hell...? I...."

I'm never coming back.  
What happened...? What did I do...?

I need.. I need to leave.

 

_"...... sm..... smash open.... the windows..."_

I whispered quietly.  
Josh turned his head, and narrowed his eyes at me.

 

The windows broke open.  
People screamed.  
I climbed over the seats, and tried to grasp onto something.

"... huh...? Tyler!" Josh rushed over.  
"What're you...-"  
"Don't touch me. There's broken glass!" I cried.  
"... I..."

  
I jumped.

  
I heard him scream my name as I fell to the rocks.

 

 

 

 

 

_"Josh! You're back....! I missed your face so much!"_

_"Oh Josh... what happened back there? I heard something crazy happened in that train."_

_"You can tell me in the car. Your father is waiting there. Can you believe it? You'll be staying at a mansion instead of that horrible apartment."_

_"Would you like a maid? You can choose any girl you'd like."_

_"Oh... that's right. I'm very sorry. I forgot. You're not into girls, aren't you?"_   
_"That's fine. We love you no matter what."_

 

 

 

 

_"Josh? You look pale."_

 

 

 

I woke up, feeling fresh cold water being splashed on my face.  
I sat up instantly, gasping.  
I looked around quickly.  
It was dark.

  
_Josh hates you._

  
I screamed at myself.  
The alien just stared at me, in confusion.

  
"..."

  
"Fuck."

 

"I'm in the middle... of fucking nowhe-" I let out a wail of pain.

"...fuck... oh god... please..."

  
My leg was twisted.

 

The alien walked closer to me, and squatted down to my height.  
I was on the floor, on my ass, crying.

"... don't do it, you fucker.." I glared at him.

  
He reached over.

  
Let's just say I saw crows flying above me from the trees.

 

  
"How.. am I going to walk...?!" I sobbed.  
I didn't mean to, but I began to cry like crazy.

"I don't know where I am...! The police will probably shoot me if they see me...! I'm probably on the news, being broadcasted everywhere! People could be hunting for me right now!"

I gulped.  
"And Josh.... Josh doesn't care for me anymore...!"

  
"Blurryface is back.. It's December, I have a sprained leg, no one cares for me, everyone wants to sell my ass..."

  
"I hate myself... I hate myself so mu-"

  
The alien gently took my arm over his shoulder.  
I looked up at him, with teary eyes.

"Where will we even go...? I have no idea where I am. My phone might even be smashed."  
I pulled out my phone.  
It had a small crack at the side, but it still worked.

"... and... people can find me if I have my phone turned on.."

  
I turned it on anyway.

It's late.  
What is my mom thinking....?

 

 

_Mom: Tyler, where are you?!_

_Mom: Where'd you go? Do you know where you are?_

_Mom: Tyler, please reply_

_Mom: Josh left for a train earlier... I heard something happened._

_Mom: was that you? What happened?_

_Tyler:_

  
_Tyler: I'm scared_

_Tyler: I can't see a thing_

  
_Tyler: my leg was twisted_

  
_Tyler: I'm cold_

  
_Tyler: and_

  
_Tyler: Josh doesn't care for me anymore_

_Tyler: Blurryface is back..._

  
_Tyler: Am I on the news yet...?_

  
_Tyler: How's Josh doing...? Is he safe?_

_Tyler: I hope he is..._

  
_Mom: Tyler... I'm so sorry._

_Mom: I wish I could help you. I want to try._

  
_Mom: You're probably feeling so hopeless now.._

  
_You have no one to save you._   
_There's no one like Josh anymore._   
_No one._   
_Your only friends are gone, and your mother can't help you._   
_You're nobody._   
_You have no one but your inner thoughts and struggles._   
_Josh has left you. He doesn't care._   
_He has nothing to do with 'Tyler'._   
_No one knows 'Tyler'._

_You're gone._   
_You're no body._

  
_No one loves you._

  
"..... there's still that knife from that one night... where I tried to save Josh... I never used it."

"..... maybe I'll use it for myself today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	17. Hurt.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cold, and lost.

They hurt.

 

 

  
They hurt a lot.

The alien looked at me, his wrist steaming with dark clouds.

"... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I can't stop myself now... I can't.." I began to feel warm tears stream down my cold face.

"My clothes are wet... and I'm freezing, and I'm a mess..." I sobbed.  
"... I already miss seeing Josh's face... I don't know why.. but he was pissed at me.." I cut deeper.

The alien's wrist dissipated, and his hand faded away.  
He kept staring at me, as if begging for me to stop.

".... I'm... sorry...." I cried.  
I gently took the knife from my hand, and held out my other wrist.

  
I let them bleed a bit.

It hurt.  
It hurt so much.  
Everything hurt.

  
And we both just sat there, in the cold and dark, taking in all of the pain.  
Just us two.

 

After about thirty minutes in the cold, the alien held me up again, and we walked.  
I could see the train tracks above me now.  
The moon is up.

Thought I still feel lost.

I need...  
A hug.....

  
I wiped away my tears again.  
My arms and wrists hurt as I lifted them.  
Tears stained my cheeks.  
Blood stained my cuts.

I'd like Josh to hug me, but he's not here, and he wouldn't hug me.

  
We walked and walked until I saw city lights.

  
I'm still freezing.  
I clutched onto the alien, trying to look for warmth.  
Somewhere.  
Anywhere.  
Does he have a beating heart...?

Soon, instead of clinging onto his shoulder..  
I got a piggyback ride.  
That's nice.  
I guess.  
But I'm still really goddamn cold.

 

 

 

Over the next few months of hiding from the police, I really had no choice, but to have everyone in my way... gone.

I was a homeless kid with no one.  
It went like this for a few years.  
I smashed my phone, cried in the cold, cut myself, and stayed alive with alien.

We walked often.  
I could protect myself with things such as guns and knives..  
And if I had no choice, I'd use alien.  
Which I often did.

He was the only thing keeping me alive.  
I needed him.

I needed him so much.  
Every time I looked at him, he looked so much like Josh.

But I couldn't see his eyes. His lips.  
I couldn't see the real Josh in him.

 

 

"One more chance, Tyler Joseph. You can come out, or we will take drastic measures."

 

 

_You should do it for the sake of not being stupid._

  
Being the pussy I was...  
I turned myself in.  
It's not like I like being a murderer.

I just wanted to live a nice life.  
But that was gone a long time ago.  
My chance would be gone forever.

And.. I walked into the police stations, with my arms up.  
They aimed their guns at me.  
The alien stood before me, guarding me like a dog.

I never smile anymore. It doesn't mean anything.

 

 

 

They locked my hands together, though the alien would unlock them easily.  
I told him not to though.  
I was curious to what was going to happen.

 

They hurt.

My wrists.  
The shackles. They make them sting.

I still cut myself.  
It's been happening for so long, I have gross scars that make my skin look scratchy.  
But that's just from the cuts on my arm.  
There's a lot of them.

  
They made me sit in a dark room, with only a tiny light above me.

Waiting, for whatever was going to happen next.  
Who ever would come in through that door..?

 


	18. Tyler...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He replaced me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol pov switch?? Apparently a lot of people think it's cringy lmao okay

_JOSH_

 

"Josh, you need to come down to the police station. There's something going on, and I feel that we should take a look into this."  
"... why? It doesn't matter to me who died." I snapped at my mother.  
She gave me a look.  
"Josh.. please. Do this for us. It'll be worth it."

"Will it really...?" I scoffed.

"I'll call someone to get the car ready, and we'll be going, okay?"

 

  
I sighed as I walked through the police station.  
Suddenly, the ground below me rattled.

Some of the workers there looked around.

"Come." My mother dragged me away in the halls, and wandered through the place.

"... you know where we're going, right...?" I asked, uncertain.  
"Of course." She said.

We went down to the basement by the elevator, and walked in some more halls.  
I was beginning to give up.

"Hey, mom..- let's just lea-"  
She opened the door.  
And I saw a boy.  
He looked ragged, though his face was breathtakingly pretty.  
He looked quiet, and solemn.  
I stopped.  
My heart stopped.  
My world stopped.

It's Tyler.

  
Tyler....

I stepped towards him.

Suddenly, something appeared in front of me, and it hissed.

".... it looks... just like...-"

_Me._

  
"Not now, alien. You don't need to kill him." Tyler muttered.  
The ghost disappeared.

 

  
But... something hurt.  
A lot.  
My chest hurt.

My heart hurt.  
It felt like it was broken into a million different pieces.

I grasped my hands together, and looked down.

 _He replaced me_.

  
Of course he would.  
Am I stupid?  
He left so quickly.  
I... I left so quickly.

  
I sat down in the chair before him.

"....."  
I tried to talk.  
I swear... I really did.  
I tried so hard.  
To just say something.  
Like..  
"Hey."  
"How are you..?"  
"What happened...?"  
Nothing came out.

  
"..... Ty...ler...." I simple croaked out.  
Stupidly.  
"What?" He looked at me, looking disgusted with me.  
My heart hurt.  
"..... would you... like to stay at.. my house tonight?" I asked, for literally no reason.

"Josh...!" My mother looked at me.  
"..... okay..?" Tyler raised an eyebrow.  
His eyes were so pretty.  
His lashes, his lips...  
I missed looking at them, but now...

It seems like nothing will work out anymore.

 

"You can... stay in the guest room."

 

  
"... this doesn't feel right." Tyler whispered.  
"Huh?"  
"..... I don't feel like I should be here." He mumbled.

"Well... you're here.. so..."  
"Why does it matter anymore..? You don't love me." He said, harshly.

My mouth was agape.  
".. now, Tyler, I can't say that's tru-"

"But you can't say it's not true either."  
There's so much pain in his eyes.  
I inhaled.  
"Tyler, look-"

"I don't know what I did." He seethed out.

I was quiet.

"I have to leave. I'm not welcome here."

"Tyler. I'm not going to make you leave. The police are after you. As long as you stay here, and they know that you stay here, they. won't. come. after. yo-"

"But... I'm not welcome. I'm.. just not. I need to leave."

"Why?!" I accidentally let out a yell.

"..... because. You're not doing this for me. And I'm not doing this for you."   
A horrible glint from his eyes.  
He glared into my soul.  
I tried to keep myself from breaking apart.  
It's been a few years. I've grown to be a petty kid.  
My family is rich after all.

  
"I'll be leaving by tonight. So don't expect me to be here in the morning."

"I can unlock all the doors y'know. I can kill anyone... in... my way... so don't try to stop me." He said, his voice coarse and dull.

"Tyler... don't go... please.."

  
"You're in your twenties. Forget about me."

The ghost behind him shivered, and shook.  
As if... something inside him was shattering.

 

"I'll finally be getting lost."


	19. He's switched.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You admit it."

It was twelve, and most of the lights were shut off.  
But I stayed awake, waiting for Tyler to leave.  
I know him. He'd go through the balcony.

  
I saw the ghost behind him, hanging around, looking heavy.

".... stop it. Stop being so jittery."

  
The ghost couldn't talk.

  
"I know. I know this hurts. But I gotta forget about it. If I don't, Blurryface is gonna start talking again."

"Don't make me turn around. It sucks how you happen to look like Josh, but... it's gotten me through a few things."

I couldn't help but smile a teeny tiny bit.

 

".... I can't look back now... fuck... what?!" He turned around, and raised his arms a bit, in annoyance.  
The ghost just stared at him.

".... this sucks. I hate it so much. Let's just go."

"... wait. Tyler." I suddenly spoke up.

"Goddammit Josh.... what now...?" Tyler looked annoyed.

".. don't leave. Please. I need-"

"Whatever you need, you don't."

"Tyler.. I.... please don't leave... I mean it... please don't..."

  
"... you piss me off so much. I'm not going to stay. I'm not! Seriously... I don't want to. I can't. I'd rather go back. Staying here will just suck. I'll hate it so much."

  
I pursed my lips, and blinked uncontrollably.

  
"... I... you'll get annoyed with me. I'll go insane. Let go of me.. let go of me, Josh...!" He shook my arm off.

I breathed lightly.

Tears began to roll down my cheeks.

  
"Leave.. me.. alone...!!" He shouted, his voice drenched in pain.  
He turned.

  
"... why'd you save me from them...?" I cried.

"... because I felt like it..!" He jumped down, and ran.

  
Does he not... does he not care...?  
Did he.. actually love me..?

 

 

 

_TYLER_

 

 

I ran down the street, as I sobbed.  
A heard cars rushing by, and I wiped my eyes hastily.

I missed Josh so much.

But the thing was..

He won't be able to fix what happens.  
The peace will end, no matter what.  
He'll die if he sticks with me.  
And he'll hate me.  
The Alien will break apart our relationship.

And I'll just be more sad than ever.

 

  
I found a quiet place.  
I was at the railings.  
There was a river below me. Ugh, I began to hate heights after the train incident.

I pulled out my knife, and rested it against the inside of my arm.  
I recklessly cut deep into my arm.  
I shuffled, and tried to hold myself together.  
I was so upset.

The alien looked at me, his stance looking dreadful.  
His arms were steaming away, like those cigarettes my father used to smoke.  
I sobbed, as I cut the other arm.  
I tried to keep my mouth shut, but I cried in pain.  
They were muffled.

 

After a little while, I heard footsteps behind me.  
I turned around, and saw Josh. His hair was messy, and he looked like he sobbed his eyes out earlier.  
It's not like I didn't do the same.

  
He was holding a bottle of liquor.  
Recognizable.  
He seemed...  
Unsure.

  
"... Tyler." He whispered.

"Josh." I looked at him in the eye, with a small glare.

He instantly looked undeniably sad.  
I even felt bad for a second.

  
"... you don't love me. You know that." I muttered.

"... I....." he was at a lost for words.

"I knew it. You don't love me." I hated myself.  
"No.. I..."

"You left... a long time ago."

"Did you mean it..?! When you saved me?! Did you really...?! Did you even love me?! Or was it all for a reputation?! A praise from your mom or something?! What was it Tyler, what was it?!" He choked out.

"Tsk."  
My scars are beginning to sting again.

  
"So what was it, Tyler?! You never loved me either, did you?!" He screamed in my face, his breath smelling like alcohol.

".... you admit it." My eyes were wide, and suddenly, the alien behind me...

  
He... just... disappeared.

 

  
And then I heard that same disgusting voice.

 

_"He never loved you from the beginning."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> or maybe he's just drunk and pissed, tyler


	20. Crushed Eyes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "....don't die...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing leads to another thing, you know?
> 
>  
> 
> :)

I can't even look him in the eye anymore.  
I don't even have the energy to look annoyed, or pissed.  
I just looked.. sad..

  
I turned around, and didn't bother looking at his face.

  
"... why am I like this...?" Josh silently cried.

  
Then I heard something fall into the water.

  
Someone.

  
_Josh._

 

It's cold.  
He's going to...

He's going to freeze up, and drown.

  
I turned around.

He's not there.  
The alien is not the-

 

 _"You're pathetic. Calling it an 'alien' like a child."_  
_"You can't even save the one you love to dearly without him."_

 _"But he's gone now, so you can try wallowing in pity, or saving Josh_."

I dove into the water as well.

The cold hit my face hard, and it was so dark.

 _Why can't I find him?!_  
_Where's his hand...?!_

 _His face..?_  
_Where..?! Where is he...? I need him...!_

_My sweet..._  
_Baby..._  
_Boy..._

  
_I saw a tad bit of sweet pink hair._

  
I tried to get deeper, but it felt as if someone was dragging me back up.

I reached for his body.  
I felt my own, shivering.  
I finally was able to grasp onto his hand, and I pulled him into my chest.  
I desperately swam back up.

  
I kept Josh'a face above the water, but there wasn't a ladder, or anywhere to get onto.

I kept swimming until I found something.

  
I pulled Josh's cold body onto the surface, and weakly climbed out myself.

"Josh... Josh... Josh...! Wake up... please...! Wake up...! Josh....! No... oh god... no... I can't..." tears welled up in my eyes, and I was a sobbing mess.

"Josh... please... I can't... I can't do this.." I pulled him into my arms.

"Wake up... wake up..."

  
I pressed on his chest, hoping to get the water out of his lungs.

I prayed to god that he'd wake up.

I prayed so badly.

And I cried.

"Josh... please....! I love you so much... don't die... don't die... don't die.... don't...!" I coughed, and screamed.  
I rested my cheek on his cold chest.  
I've never sobbed as loud as this.  
"I've missed you so much... don't leave... I.. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

  
"... alien... where are you...? Please... don't make him die...." big, fat tears dropped from my eyelashes.  
I got up, stumbling a tad bit.

  
"... I've always wanted to see your smile one last time...!"

 

  
I shuffled through his pockets.  
There must be a phone or something.  
I swear if it doesn't work...

I pulled out his phone, and called the ambulance.

 

They came, and took us to the hospital.

Josh woke up after 40 minutes.

I was so scared that he would drown, but...  
I couldn't take myself seriously.

He saw me, and he reached out for me, obviously dazed and hungover.

I sobbed.  
"... Tyler...?"

I backed away.

"I can't... I don't deserve you..."

 

  
I ran out of the hospital.

 

"Tyler Joseph?" A cop saw me running.

"No...! No....! Please... I can't take this anymore.. I can't...!" I shook like crazy.

"W-woah... kid.. calm down. What's-"

"N-no....! Don't come close.....!"

  
Suddenly, something crashed on my face.  
More specifically, my left eye.

 

I let out a scream.  
Everything was a blur, but there was so much blood.

I dropped to the floor, my lungs inflating and deflating irregularly.

I can't feel my face.  
I can only hear myself whimper in a craze.  
I was seriously losing it.  
I'm losing it...

  
Everything went dark.

  
_"You're pathetic."_

_"No one loves you. Not even Josh."_

_"It's been like this from the beginning."_

 

_JOSH_

 

  
Tyler disappeared that night.  
No one talked about where he went.  
But I got a text from his mother in the morning.

 

 

_Mrs. Joseph: Hey Josh! Just checking in to see how things are going in the hospital. Tyler's kinda losing it recently..._

_Josh: hey.._

_Mrs. Joseph: You sound upset. Did something happen between you two?_

_Josh: ... I just... have a question._

_Josh: Did Tyler... actually love me, or was he all doing it for nothing...?_

  
_Mrs. Joseph: Of course..! Tyler loved you so so much! :)_

_Josh: How can you be so sure...?_

_Mrs. Joseph:_   
_Well... I remember the night you arrived, in Tyler's weak arms... he needed to convince me to let you stay. Tyler described you as... "the kindest boy I have ever met". He kept saying such sweet things about you. His eyes lit up, and he smiled whenever he talked about you..._   
_When he disappeared a few years back, he texted me, and he sounded so.. upset._   
_He thought that you didn't love him back at all._

_Josh: When he disappeared...? On the train...?_

_Mrs. Joseph: Sadly, yes. I never got to see him at that moment, but he was alone in the dark, with a twisted leg. He was losing hope, I guess._   
_I never got to look into it fully._

_Josh: ... oh.. crap.... do you.. know where Tyler is at all...?_


	21. Insane.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It switched.

No one... knows where Tyler is.  
Or at least taking about him.  
Oh fuck... he must be so upset.  
I never remembered that day.  
I never took much thought into it.  
He must've been so sad.  
My chest hurt so much.  
I feel so guilty.  
I really... I really have to know where he is..  
Or else.. I'll never forgive myself.

I kept searching and searching, but no one gave me an answer.  
I began to get even more petty.  
I needed to find him.

Something weird has been happening recently.  
Wherever there's people... there's something above.  
Someone.  
Someone that moves, and changes color.

 

 

 

  
_"... Tyler Joseph? That insane kid? He's in an asylum, I think."_

_"He's going to the hospital in a few days for a surgery. Maybe you should help him out."_

 

A few months.

It took me so long to just find out where he was.

I had yearned to see him.  
His face.  
His eyes, his lashes, his lips, his.. smile...

  
I never saw it from the beginning.  
I felt like throwing up.  
Tyler must hate me.

  
I tried to seem cold, and stronger than I really was.  
I didn't know what was the right choice anymore.  
To get attached to him, or leave him.  
I wanted to get attached to him so much.  
But Tyler...  
Will he still love me...?  
Even after what I said.. and what I did...?

  
They opened the door.

And I heard Tyler's raspy voice, singing to himself.  
His face looking directly at the tiny window above.  
He didn't sound sane for sure.  
I slowly stepped up to him.

".... Tyler...?"

  
"Tyler, can you hear me...? It's... Josh..."

 

He stopped singing.

"Who's there....? Who's listening..?" He mumbled, sounding delirious.

"T-...Tyler... I'm here.. to take you to the hospital for.. surgery of some sort.."  
It seemed he didn't know which way to face.  
I gently touched his cheeks, and made him face me.

".. T-...Tyler... what happened to your... your eyes...? Why aren't they able to open...?"

  
".... I've been crying too much. They hit my left eye, and my right has been crying too much. It hurts to open it."

"... and your.. left eye...? It can't open at all, right?"

He nodded.

His shut eyes were pretty on their own.

Though, his left eye area looked bruised and blue.  
His face was still in my hands, and it was the only way he could tell my being was there.  
I saw him gently touch his hands with mine.

He's gone insane.

I averted my gaze downwards.

But I noticed something.  
I gently took his hand, and turned it a bit.

"...... Tyler...."

"Hmm..?"

".... there's.... so many cuts.. on here...."

It scared me.  
The amount of cuts were devastating.  
There could have been twenty on there, or more.  
And that was only one arm.

  
"Have you been... doing this to yourself...?" My heartbeat was loud, and obnoxious.  
Though I can't tell it to stop completely.

There was... broken shards of glass, hovering over his head.

  
"... doing.. what...?" He asked, unsure.

"... cutting yourself. Do you remember anything...?"

"My.. cuts...?"  
He sat there, in confusion.  
Then, he quickly jerked back, and pulled his arms away from me, crawling backwards into the bed.

"Don't look at those....! Don't look at me...!" He cried.  
Yet he couldn't.  
His eyes were all shut, and unable to open.  
"T-Tyler... it's me... Josh... the kid that... you saved in high school.. the guy you... apparently love..." I mumbled.

"... you remember me, right...? I have pink hair.. and brown eyes.."

He covered his face with his arms, as if shielding himself.  
He looked frightened.

"... Tyler....? I'm sorry... for everything... can you.. forgive me...?"

He began to hiccup, and shiver as he hid his face in fear, crying a tiny bit.

Was I scaring him...?

 

 

 


	22. Will he remember what I say when he comes back?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He can't be that insane, right...?"

"T-Tyler. Hey-"

"What do you want...?! What will you do to me..? Will you hurt me...?!" A few tears slipped down his right eye, almost as if leaking out.  
It was still closed, but he looked like he was in so much pain by crying.  
He whined and wailed as tears fell from his eye.  
He shivered violently.  
I reached for him again.  
"Tyler, it'll be okay. I'm getting you out of here. Nothing bad will happen, nothing painful, you're just coming out. It'll be okay..." I said, trying to sound as gentle and sweet as possible.  
I didn't want to... scare him.  
He seems so vulnerable now.  
I gently pulled him into my arms.  
There were still tears, but they died down a bit.  
"S-so... I'll be leaving this place...? Where will I stay...?"

".... with people you can trust. Things will be okay... alright...?"  
He rested against my chest.  
Things.. felt bubbly, and warm.

"O...okay..."

"We can get a wheelchair for you, okay? I'll push you around." I smiled at him.  
But he'd never see my smile.  
He just sat there, his face quiet and desolate.  
He almost looked sad, though I couldn't see his eyes, his eyebrows, and his eyelashes...  
I could see so much.

  
I'd always stare at him every now and then.  
His face was so beautiful, and cute..  
But I wished that I could see him smile again...  
I felt bad for lying to him.  
He doesn't actually know about the surgery.  
I think it's for his eye.

 

".... where are we going....?"  
"T-to... a really nice place."  
"Where's that...?"

"... you'll see.."

"I-I'm... I'm not sure... I'm.. kinda scared... I wanna know where we're going..." Tyler's voice shook.  
The broken glass above him clanked around.  
He must be nervous..

"I'm sorry. We're.... going to the hospital."  
"What for..?"

"I think it's for your eyes."

"But... what'll they do..?"

"... I'm not sure."

"They can't fix my left eye. They'll have to take it out...!" Tyler's voice was on edge.

"... w-we don't... know that..." I tried to tell him, but my voice was shaky.  
It wouldn't reassure him at all.  
The last thing I wanna do is make him scared.  
"B-but... you said it wouldn't hurt..!"

"I know, and.. I'm sorry for lying to you.. but I needed you to come with me. I.. I can't bare seeing you in an asylum, Ty.." I said, trying to keep my focus on the road.

"... But... everything hurts too much... I don't wanna take it up all over again..."

I shut my mouth.

He's a little crazy.

"....... I don't wanna go to the hospital..."

"... then.. Tyler, tell me.."

"W-what do you miss seeing? Maybe you can take your mind off of the hospital for a second, and just talk with me."

"... seeing...? I..."

Tyler was at a lost for words.  
It's almost as if he'd like to say something, but he doesn't know how to put it.

".... maybe... this was a few years back.. but.. I miss seeing the freckles on Josh's back."

My face turned red in a millisecond.

Why does he remember seeing that...?

  
"... and... I like looking at eyes. Josh's eyes.."

I could see Tyler almost smiling to himself in the rear view mirror.

"... I wish I could see Josh smile again. But who knows.. I might ever be able to see that ever again. Because.. I don't know if Josh loves me.. he.. probably doesn't...-"

"Tyler.... I... I do love you, okay? Please don't.. please don't say that..!" I said, sounding upset.

My fingers gripped onto the steering wheel.

  
".... a-alright.. I love you.. too.."

 

  
Is he unsure of who he is anymore?

He can't be that insane.  
Right...?


	23. Ripped apart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We're still so far away."

Tyler sat in bed in the hospital for a few days, not knowing when he'd be going into surgery.

I feel bad.  
He's probably really scared.  
The doctors told him to refrain from crying, but they can't just tell him to do that.  
It's impossible to make someone like him, who's gone through so much pain..  
To not.. cry.  
Even me, if I were him, I'd be sobbing everyday.  
I don't blame him for going insane, though...  
I want the real Tyler to come back.

 

  
Every single day, Tyler sat in the bed, twiddling his fingers, trying to figure out where everything was.  
His eyes were still shut, and he had no idea who he was anymore.  
Heck, maybe he doesn't even remember me anymore.  
It seems that he forgets it when I say something to him.

Like.. he forgets my name..  
Who I am..  
Maybe even what I look like.  
Maybe how I sound, even though he hears it all the time.  
I won't say I expect him to remember how my hand feels like.. but..  
I wish he did.  
He's so broken.

He can't open his eyes.

  
The monsters on everyone's heads.  
Why do I see them?  
They disappear slowly.

I hope they leave.

 

  
It was dark, and Tyler was sleepy.  
But he kept himself alert.  
Because suddenly, everything below started moving.

His world, dark, but changing continuously without him knowing.

Where was he going? What was going to happen to him?

I knew.  
It's time for his surgery.

And I waited there, for hours and hours.  
It was late. I was tired and groggy, but Tyler was still in that operating room, unconscious, and being ripped apart.  
They were removing the bad eye.  
They were taking away one of the best things I used to see.

And if Tyler's other eye is lost..?

  
Even if I can't see his eyes anymore,  
And even if he can't see anything anymore..?

I'll still be there for him no matter what.  
I'll love him.  
And he might not love me back.. but..

I'll still love him so much.  
And..  
I continue to hope..  
That I can see his bright little adorable smile.  
Again.

  
I woke up in my chair.  
And I saw Tyler, back in the hospital room.  
He had a huge bandage covering his left eye completely.  
He was still asleep, but I felt glad.  
I felt better. Just a tiny bit.

Tyler was okay.

  
He's okay.

  
I slowly walked over to him, my shoes clicking a bit.  
I grasped onto his soft hand.

  
"... you... said it wouldn't hurt...."

My head jerked up.

"...you lied... it hurts so much... my eye..."

I tangled my fingers with his.  
"I'm sorry, Tyler.. I'm so sorry... please don't-... please don't cry.. it'll get worse if you..."

He can't stop on his own.  
If it keeps going, he'll never get his eyes to open.

 

 

He wouldn't stop crying.  
He truly wouldn't.

It came to a point where Tyler would always be slumped over, never facing anything.  
He wouldn't look up at anyone.  
He wouldn't speak either.

Tyler was truly going insane.

  
Whenever it was dark, and Tyler was asleep, I could finally see his face again.  
His sore eye, and that bandage...  
I never got to see it during the day.

  
I'd start crying as well.

What if Tyler never comes back sane?  
What if Tyler lives his life, never remembering the people he love, always facing away?

I'll still chase after him.. but...

I covered my face.

I did this.

 

  
During the night, I'd try my best to be quiet.  
But that wouldn't work out sometimes, and I'd start sobbing.

We're still so far away.

_I wish I could have saved him when he needed me as well._

 

 


	24. Again, begging for help.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...well..."
> 
>  
> 
> "Where do I start...?"

"...."

  
I gently took his arm, and wrapped the bandage around his cuts.

He was still looking down at his lap, the white blankets, his little shadow..

He's so focused.  
 _What's he thinking about..?_

  
_He knows I'm holding his arm, and looking at his cuts, right...?_

I took the other arm, and did the same thing.  
I gently put his arm down.  
He looked dead, almost.

"Tyler.."

"H-hey... Tyler..." my voice was shaky.  
I'm such a crybaby now.  
I was always a crybaby.

"Respond to me.. please...?"  
I dropped down into the chair beside his bed.

_"..please...?"_

 

He didn't move.  
I wanted to shake him.  
But he wouldn't respond that way either.

It was beginning to seem like I was living at that hospital, with Tyler..

I'd buy him flowers every now and then, but he would just hold them with his delicate hands, and examine them, with his fingers.  
He can't see them, sadly.  
He can't see the pretty colors.  
Maybe he misses that.  
Maybe he hasn't seen my hair in a while. It looks stupid anyway, but it's bright.  
I remember him mentioning bright colors back in high school.  
He said my hair looked nice.

  
"... Tyler... Tyler....." I reached for him.  
I tried to hug him, but he wouldn't respond at all.

He really did seem dead.  
What's he thinking right now...?!  
What's he going through...?

  
My lips quivered.

 

"Um, sir?" A woman stood on the other side of Tyler's bed.  
I looked up.  
"We're going to take Tyler's blood test now, so-"

"Oh.. yeah, sure. I'll just-.." I backed up a little bit, wiping the tears from my eyes.

  
It kept getting darker again.  
I began to shiver, and shake.

I tried not to cry some more. I really did.  
But the more I did, and the more I didn't..

I felt something breaking inside.

  
Maybe Tyler just doesn't love me anymore.  
Maybe he doesn't like it when I hold his hand.  
Maybe he's getting creeped out by me by now.  
Maybe he hates me so fucking much.

My hair fell in front of my face.  
I let go of his hand.

 

 

 

 

"It's you again, huh? You always look so broody and sad whenever you come here. What's been going on?" The woman at the counter asked.  
I didn't ever look at someone's face when talking.  
My mom used to scold me about that.  
I guess it's even worse now, with Tyler stuck in my heart like a painful toothpick.

"... I... I just... I regret a lot." I said, trying not to mutter, and whisper.  
It was kinda bullshit, but I didn't feel like having that talk.

  
_"Oh it'll get better."_   
_"Don't think about it."_   
_"Stay positive."_

  
_It's dumb._   
_Really dumb._   
_And it never works._

I'm just a twenty year old guy with no life.  
Maybe I have a rich family, but still...  
I like guys, and I can't keep guys.  
I can't even keep one.  
That's funny.  
I'm pathetic.

  
"What do you mean, 'a lot'? What's that?" She asked.  
"I.. don't you have other customers right now...? I mean, y-you don't need to worry about-"

"Look, kid. Turn around."

 

"Oh."

  
"There's literally ten minutes before we close. If you aren't getting coffee, then you obviously look like you need help."

  
"I... I don't need help. I'm fine. I'm just... guilty."

"Well, if you don't mind, tell me about it. And if you want, you can get something too. You look like a mess."  
The woman smiled neatly, as she walked over to the pen and paper placed on the other side of the counter.

 

"... well..."

 

 

"Where do I start...?"

 

 

 


	25. In the dark.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's something shuffling towards him.

A lot of people know how it is with depression.  
Once you feel it, it'll always come back.  
Tyler saved me that one time.  
And he tried his best the second time.

He really did.

  
I was just upset.  
And I shouldn't have directed it at him.

To me, it was nothing.

But when he was gone for those couple of years, things began to drop.  
It's not like I turned into a brat,  
I was one from the beginning, taking Tyler for granted, not being grateful enough, and overlooking his own struggles.

  
As I spoke, I began to cry in front of the woman.  
She just stared, and listened closely.

 

"If Tyler ever gets left out because of his eye, it's my fault.  
If Tyler ever goes insane again, or kills himself, it'll be my fault.  
Tyler cuts because of me.  
I started it.  
I hurt him.  
It's all my fault,  
And I should just die."

"I accidentally said that out loud... fuck...." I quietly muttered.

The woman sighed.  
"That's not the right way to go about it, but I guess I'd feel the same too."

  
"... Tyler doesn't have anyone anymore... he's all alone... stuck in his little dark world.." I began to tear up, and I grasped my head between my arms.

"That's not right. He still has you."

"He won't respond to me.. he won't respond to anybody. I did it to him, and he probably hates my guts. All I want to have is for him to be happy again, with or without me..."

"That boy won't be happy with you dead." She said.

  
"How can you tell....? Tyler hates me. He hates me so much..."

"Any guy wouldn't do that for sure. As long as you're with him, he won't be killing himself. As long as you can show him that you love him no matter what, it'll be okay. He'll be glad that you're there."

"... but... everything is my fault...-" I covered my face.  
"Then make it up to him. If it all happened, and you can't take it back, make it up to him. Never make the same mistake."

 

  
"What if he won't forgive me...?"

 

 

  
"What if he does?"

 

 

 

  
"B-but still... what if he doesn't...?"

 

"Then I'll probably come over and slap him. No man should ever do that to his loved ones."

 

  
".. you can't do that... it'll hurt his eye."

 

She laughed.  
"I doubt he would hate anyone as innocent as you are."

  
"What's your name?"

"I'm Halsey."

"I'm Josh."

  
"Thanks for talking to me today." I said, with a sad smile.

 

"No problem. But it's really late now, so you should get going."

  
It was seriously dark outside, and the only lights were spotted, and diluted.  
The streetlights, and the lights coming from the windows of the buildings,  
It's cold outside, like usual.  
I miss the summer.  
It feels like the only summer I remember..

Is... in school, I guess.

I had fun.

Life was fun.  
And... I felt better.  
I bet Tyler felt better too.  
We didn't know each other then.  
It was only early fall when I first fell in love with him.  
Close enough, right?

  
The colorful things above people's backs..  
They faded away.  
They're gone, and I hope they never come back.

I'm alone now.  
Right?

  
I turned my head.

 

 

I heard a shuffling noise from somewhere beyond.  
Like an old man, or...

  
Something dead.

Maybe it's just me, and I've remembered too many Japanese horror movies..

Or maybe it's real.

 

  
"Josh?"

  
"... hello?" I tilted my head, hoping to hear another response.

"Josh! It's me. You might not remember me... but.. we were in school together."


	26. Wake up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you remember where it was heard?

"... In my school..?"  
"Yeah. I may have seemed like a huge jerk... but.... I really regret what I've done, I'm sorry for being such a dick to you."

The guy had a lazy stubble, and a jerkish sweatshirt, even in the cold.  
He looked stupid.

Though.. his apology... something was wrong.  
Off.

  
"So.. can you forgive me?"  
He held out his hand.

  
Something dark resonated from him.  
I turned away.

"... just leave me alone."

"Aw, don't be like that! It was years ago! We can make up, and-"

"You're after something. I know it. Just leave me alone."

  
"Well.. if you're really gonna play like that, I guess I have no choice now, do I?" He said, with his raspy jackass-ish voice.

I held something pull me from behind.  
My neck was stuck in between his arms.

"I know you're rich, Dun."

"So give it up! Give me the money! You can just fiddle away and suddenly you'll have more, won't ya?! Hurry up, you fucking slut...!" He yelled.

I couldn't move, and my legs swung back and forth rapidly.

"You don't have that stupid kid with you anymore, he won't save you. You're either going to die, or you can give me the goddamn money!!" He screamed into my ear.

My fingers skimmed across my pockets, and I pulled out my phone, bashing it across the guy's face.  
He let go of me, and held his nose.

"You fucker....! Oh fuck...!!" He yelled.

I needed a minute to breathe.

But that was too long.

 

The man surged forwards, and I winced.

  
His head was bashed against a pole repeatedly.

  
The figure turned its head.

".... why'd you help....?"

 

  
_"'Make them leave him alone.'"_

 

  
"..... Tyler...? Tyler... Tyler...! Is that you...?!" I slowly walked over to the figure.  
But the closer I tried to get, the farther the figure seemed to be.  
I heard that somewhere.  
I heard Tyler say it.

I know he did.

  
"... Tyler...! Please come back...!" I began to wail, and sob.  
"I need you...! Ty.. please.."

I had to stop moving. He just kept getting farther away.

  
And even when I stopped... he disappeared.

And I sadly... and slowly trudged my way back to the hospital.  
It was a cold night.  
And suddenly, it felt even colder.

Because I know.. when I go to that hospital once again, and I see Tyler...

 

I'm going to feel worse than I can ever imagine.

I need him so much.  
Yet... he won't even wake up.  
I miss him.  
I miss his little smile so much.  
I miss seeing his happy eyes, I miss feeling his arms around me..  
I miss it all so much.  
And what I see in front of me, everyday, every night..  
It's not the Tyler that I started out with.

It's the Tyler I molded.  
Shaped.  
And ruined.  
It's the Tyler I broke,  
And hurt..  
And...  
It's the Tyler..

  
The only Tyler..

  
The only person...

The only existing thing in the world..

  
That I can live for.  
And I don't even know if he'll live for me.  
I've ruined my dearest friend.  
And now I have no do overs.  
All I want is for him to just wake up.  
All I really need...

Is for him to just look up at me.  
And say something simple.  
Like..  
My name, or something.

And...  
Maybe that's not how things would go.  
Maybe Tyler would cuss out at me, and hate me forever.  
If I were Tyler, I'd hate me too.  
And even as myself, I hate myself.  
I walked into the hospital, feeling heavy.

  
And Tyler's room was as usual as ever.  
Quiet, and.. dull..  
I hated living like this so much.  
I hated it all so much.  
I need him.  
I needed this boy so much.  
I really... really...  
Did.

  
So... why..?

 

  
Why can't he just wake up....?

  
I need him to... just wake up.

 

 

 


	27. On hold.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I felt like death."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao it's the most embarrassing thing when you find ironic typos after the thing is published like-

I dropped down into that chair beside his bed.  
And I held his soft fingers.

The more I looked at them, the more I missed when they held my hands.

I miss everything.  
I miss just being happy with him.

 

I fell asleep beside him.  
And I woke up..  
Beside him.

They had to make him move in some way, so they got him a wheelchair, and sometimes.. he'd walk.  
For a little bit.  
He was kinda lazy.  
He was cute, yet a wee bit taller than me, oddly enough.

 

His good eye is opened now.  
Yet his face always showed that deadpanned expression.

 

 

We went outside, and looked at the brown leaves.  
Dead plants.  
It's not that pretty.  
It's chilly.  
But... the sky's still blue.  
Hell, even in the city, you shouldn't expect much nature.  
Tyler shivered a bit.  
I took off my coat with no hesitation.  
And I gently wrapped it around his body.  
I could feel the cold poking me in the back like it was trying to get my attention, but I shook it off anyways.  
And I let Tyler stay outside for as long as he wanted.

 

"... Hey... um..."

 

".... can you.. hear me...?"

"..... I love you a ton.."

  
"And.. I really miss you......"

I was silent again.

  
"... please say something."

"... please... please..."

"I... please.." my voice cracked.

 

 

  
"How was it?" The nurse asked Tyler, who was still silent in that wheelchair.  
"I bet it was fun. I hope everything's doing well."

She only said that because he didn't respond.

We stayed in that room forever.  
It got dark again.  
It feels like days are repeating itself.

 

"... Tyler....."

  
"You there....?"

I began to break a bit.

"I just... wanted to talk to you for a bit..."

  
"I just... want you to say something.."

 

"Tyler.."

Tears began to run down my face.

I feel like I'm giving up.  
I really do.

"Tyler.... please... say something... I'm sorry..."

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry for never being that person you should've had. I'm sorry for never helping you... I'm so horrible.. right..?"

"You definitely hate me... right...?"

_It felt like my chest and insides were boiling, and bubbling._   
_My organs rising to the top, and skimming the water._   
_My heart fidgeting, and moving out of place._   
_My brain repeatedly crashing into my skull._   
_My tears streaming down my face, hot and burning._

_I want to sob._

  
"... please... just say something..."

 

 

I'm just mumbling to myself now.

  
"... do you remember... when you saved me... the second time..? When I let them hurt you...? I didn't mean that... I really didn't... I didn't mean for any of this to happen... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.."

"I started it all. It's all my fault...."

".... you're the best thing in the world... I don't deserve you.."

  
I let go of his hand, and got up.  
Tyler glanced at his empty fingers, and yet he wouldn't even look up at my face.  
It was funny.

I laughed..

  
But even after laughing a bit, it turned into choking sobs within two seconds.  
I felt my insides rise up again. I felt my whole hear shatter into tons and tons of pieces.  
I felt like jumping.  
I felt like death.

  
I slowly stepped back, towards the window..

  
But someone grabbed my hand.  
It almost felt like they wanted to pull me back.  
I turned around, my teary eyes and shaky body almost collapsing.

  
"...... Josh..-" Tyler's voice was whispy and silent... like the wind.  
He looked up a me, with a sad expression.  
His eye looked tired and dreary.

  
I took a long breath.

 

My body shuddered.  
I tried to cover my mouth.  
I was already crying a lot from the beginning.  
Tyler reached out for me.  
My eyes screamed.  
His arms weren't warm, nor cold.

But I was definitely cold.

I needed this so much.  
I really did.

  
I wrapped my arms around his back, and I hugged him so tightly.  
I cried really badly into his shoulder.


	28. Something aches.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liar?

"J-Josh... why're you crying...?"

  
"I.... I don't know..."  
I had so many reasons.  
I couldn't told him all of them, but that was all I mumbled out.  
My shaky blabbering, my intense sobs..

  
He definitely heard me while I was talking to myself.

Tyler let go.  
He looked down, almost looking guilty.  
I still wanted him to hug me.

Again.. and again...

I just felt.. lonely when he let my arms loose.

I wiped my eyes meekly, even if the tears wouldn't stop.  
Tyler stared at me, looking sad again.

"... y-you don't have to look so sad... it's not your fault..." I felt like I was throwing my head down.

 

"No... it's just.... I..... Josh...."

I was still looking down at the floor, as if I was bowing down to something.  
It's pathetic, but I just don't want Tyler to watch me cry some more.

Suddenly, his hands went below my arms, and I felt my feet lift from the floor.

I was still crying, and my vision was still blurry from the tears.

All I saw was Tyler's face.  
I felt scrunched up.

  
".... what's wrong....?" I covered half of my face with my hand, my eyelids stinging from tears.

He was quiet.

"D-do I look stupid or something...? Because I know I am..."

  
Is he going to throw me out the window?

I won't be surprised in all honestly.

 

He suddenly had a stupid expression on his face.

"You just.... look so small... right now."

His voice is so nice.  
I always thought it was beautiful compared to mine.

I missed hearing it so much.  
I tried to hold back any more sounds of crying. My lips quivered.

"Josh.."

My voice was literally shaking, and it came out as warbled.

  
".... d-...do you.... hate.... m-me.....?"

 

  
I do feel like a kid.  
I'm literally being held up by Tyler, as if I was a baby, and I'm still crying like one too.  
I'm crying even more than a baby, actually.

  
"You...."

  
I hiccuped.

  
"You probably hate me so much for what I did in the past... for... when I left you and you jumped out of that train... I was such a jerk..."

My voice was shrill, and suddenly high pitched, as if I tried to stop shaking.  
I couldn't stop it.

Tyler didn't move either.  
He put me down, but it was almost as if he was looking down at me, as if I was ridiculous for asking for forgiveness.  
Maybe that's just me.

  
"I didn't know you were so sad... I didn't know that you felt so depressed then... I'm sorry... I'm the worst person ever.."

  
"Josh, hey... just... stop it. Don't say that. Look, I'm.. I'm not sure what happened to you.. but... you don't hate yourself that much... do you...?"

  
"... it was just that.... there was no one I was ever talking to... it was always myself.. you never responded, and I had a feeling that you hated me.. I'm ignorant.. I'm ignorant for not... I'm ignorant for not being there for you, even when you saved me."  
I feel dumb talking like this.  
As if Tyler thinks it's stupid.  
As if I shouldn't be spilling out like this.

 

"... Josh... did you go insane...?"

  
Ironic...

It sounds like he's sick of me...

  
"I... fuck, I didn't know that you felt like this while I didn't talk... I didn't think that way at all..."

"Do you really don't...?" I looked up at him, my eyes singing with pain.  
Is he lying? What if he's lying...?  
What if he's just saying it to make me feel better...?

  
"Josh... a-are you... okay...?"

"Yeah...! I'm... fine.... I'm... I'm glad you're back.." I tried to smile at him.

My stomach hurts so much.  
I think I'm going to pass out.


	29. Mean it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh btw
> 
> Remember that part in one of the chapters where it said that Tyler never got to the alleyway  
> Yeah uh  
> That was a glitch lol I'm sorry if I confused the shit out of you

"You... look sick to your stomach." Tyler stated, his hushed voice in the dark.  
The foreground felt blue.

There were only lights behind us all. Beyond the windows.  
It's in the city.  
It's late, yet a lot of things are still illuminated.  
"... I do..? That's... strange." I looked off to the side, trying to make my sore eyes feel better.  
I still wanted to cry.  
I really did.  
But crying again would just make Tyler suspect me.

I'd like something cold.  
Like an ice pack or something.

"... Josh... are you okay?"

I don't feel well one bit.

"I'm... I'm fi-"  
I was pulled in suddenly, for a grasping hug.  
His arms were clamped around me, and I felt embarrassed.

"T-Tyler... I'm fine... it's okay.."  
It felt like that same old hug from years ago, when I woke up in his bed, covered in bandages..

  
"... Tyler..."

  
I looked up at me.

"... why'd you come back...?"

He blinked.  
"Did you... not want me to wake up...?"

"What...? No...! I... I meant like.. how'd you come back... god, of course not.. I would have been dead by now if you didn't..." I covered my whole face with my hands in embarrassment.  
I'm an embarrassment.

"Oh.. okay.. good, I got anxious for a second."

"Well.. I was just.. hearing things... and suddenly I heard your voice and... I guess I saw your hand leave mine... and I got worried."

"I didn't want you to leave, pretty much. I sound clingy, and like a hypocrite, but I got worried. Hearing what you said... it.. it's tough. I couldn't move, and I wish I could. You were saying such horrible things about yourself."

I couldn't look at his face right.  
I'm afraid he doesn't mean what he says.  
About me.

I'm scared that it's all a lie.

I wanted to fall asleep on his shoulder. I was so desperately tired.  
I kept wobbling back and forth, trying not to fall onto him.  
I didn't notice that he was staring at me worriedly at first.  
"Josh... you can sleep if you want to-"

"No, it's fine...! I-I can manage..!" I smiled again, my face feeling raw and stiff.

Tyler was soon tucked back into his little hospital bed.  
His eyes shut, and I waited for a while.

  
I tried to make sure he was asleep, though I couldn't be precise.

After a few hours and sitting around,  
The crying started up again.  
Tears ran down my face and everything began to hurt.  
I coughed as I felt my heart crush into a soupy liquid.

I got up, and walked out of the room.  
After leaving, I kept going down the hallways, looking for somewhere to look outside.

Suddenly, I got a phone call.

 

_"Josh?"_

  
"... hi mom..."

_"Did Tyler wake up yet?"_

  
"Yeah..."

  
_"He did..? That's surprising. How'd the talking go?"_

  
_"_.. I dunno... it's not like we had a fight... but I still feel...-"

  
_"You should leave that boy. I don't think he loved you."_

Stop it.

 

"M-mom... it's my fault for doing all of this to him. I'm not gonna just leave him...-"

 

_"Does he really love you then?"_

 

 

"... I... I don't know... mom, just..."

  
"Just hang up...."

 

  
She kept going on and on.  
I decided to just end it myself.  
I hung up on her, and I stood in the middle of nowhere.

  
"Should I just get drunk again...? I don't even know anymore..." I muttered.

Maybe I'll get into a fistfight at a club or something.  
That'll piss my family off.  
I'm just being stupid now.

 

Of course, if I wanted to leave, I needed to get all my stuff.  
And I left most of my things in Tyler's room.


	30. Awake in ones-

_I had already gone a long away._

  
I had no idea where I was, or the hallway I was in.  
Something sent a chill up my back.  
And people crowded around me.

I'm hallucinating.

  
I pushed through the thick air, thought I suddenly felt holed in.

I'm scared.  
Stop playing tricks on me..

More people.

  
Stop...

 

Tyler...?

  
His ghostly body waved in the blurs, and I wanted to reach out for him.

"Tyler.......?"

My hand reached right through him.  
When I pulled my fingers away, his body clung onto my skin like a sheer blanket, and it was ripped apart.

 

Where Tyler...? I don't feel good..

  
Have I been drugged or something..?  
What's going on..?  
I need... Tyler...

 

  
I stumbled to the room I recognized.

And the bed was empty.

"Ty.... Ty..... Where...- where is everyone...?" My breathing was heavy and low, and I wanted to fall over.

Something dripped from my face.

Tears....?

  
No. Blood.

My nose was bleeding now.  
I felt hollow.  
Someone ran behind me.

I turned my head.

  
"....."

Tyler looked worried.

But I couldn't really make a different face at him.  
I wasn't sure if he was real or not.  
"....Ty....." I whispered.

  
"Josh? What... happened...? Why did you leave..? I was looking for you.."

  
"Josh...? Are you going to say anything..?"

 

".... what if you actually don't love me after what I did to you...?" My head fell to the side, as if I lost all control in my bones, and they twisted.

"Josh... that's ridiculous. I continued to cut for a reason."

  
"I mean... like... I... I loved you a lot... don't blame my cutting on yourself please... I was dealing with tough things from the beginning, haha...." he tried to smile at me a tiny bit.

  
But it's hard to feel better when I see a bandage on his eye and arms.  
He grabbed a tissue from a box, and gently put it against my bloody nose.

"... why wold you love me...?"

"Because... you're so kind to everyone. I guess I fell in love with you for that. I mean it a ton. Please believe me."

"... I don't feel worthy."

  
He lifted the tissue.

  
".. well... too late now."

 

"because I love you more than anything."

 

  
I felt him gently kiss me on the lips.

 

 

 

When I woke up, I didn't open my eyes.  
I felt my body in Tyler's arms, curled up on his lap.

"I-I'm sorry, nurse... I uhm..." Tyler seemed to be nervous.  
I opened my eyes.  
A woman was staring at us, with a shocked expression on her face.  
She's probably not used to seeing two men holding onto each other.  
The woman gave us an odd stare, and then slowly walked away.  
I looked into Tyler's eye.  
"... do I look like a mess right now...? I probably look like a mess right now." I turned away.  
He grabbed my face.  
"You look beautiful!!" He whisper-shrieked into my face jokingly.

I somehow feel better now.

 

"Ty, when you're able to leave, I want you to meet someone."  
"Your new boyfriend?"  
"What...? No...!" I clung onto his arm. He looked down and laughed.

Everything seems light.  
"There's this girl at a cafe who helped me feel better when you weren't responding to me." I felt so excited. I wanted to tell Tyler so many things. I wanted to show him so many new things.  
There were just so much going on without him.  
"A-am I talking too much...? Sorry about that... I'm just-"  
"No, it's fine...! I wanna listen to you talk. You sound so happy."  
I smiled purely out of sweetness.

"So.. after I leave the hospital, I'll have to-"  
"You can stay at my house...!" I quickly snapped.  
"Are your.. parents okay with that...?"

The jumpy feeling in my eyes dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nest chapters will be a bunch of fluff rip  
> Do you guys like it when it's some ol' fluff? I mean like  
> It's different than the usual dark story I mean so I'm not sure if you guys like it or not haha  
> I'm kinda not sure how to feel about tbh I'm scared that it makes the story bad


	31. Mother, no.

"That's okay, Josh. I'll find another place to go if they won't-"  
"I'll convince them...! I don't want you to stay anywhere else..." I said.  
"Y-you don't have to do that.." Tyler looked at me embarrassingly.  
"I want to...! Look, I'll call my mom right now.. she's probably gonna be against it at first.. but still.."  
Tyler was messing around with the fringes of my clothes.

"... I've never seen you wear formal stuff like this before. You look like some educated college student, or that cool professor at every single school." Tyler said.

I looked down at the black fleece sweater over the white button-up shirt.  
And those iconic black skinny jeans.  
I never wore something like this in high school.  
I was kinda homeless back then, in a way.

"I mean... I guess-... I guess it is kinda formal... haha..."  
"You look cool." Tyler smiled a tad bit.

 

 

"Hey.. um... mom...?"

"Can Tyler stay at our house when he leaves the hospital..?"

Tyler began to giggle randomly out of nowhere.  
"Wh-what...? What is it..?" I whispered.  
"It sounds like you're asking for a sleepover."

It sounds like I'm a kid again.  
Though I never actually asked for sleepovers.  
I had no friends.  
Yay.

  
_"I don't know about that."_

"Then-... if you come over, and meet him, maybe you'll change your mind...?" I asked, questioning if it was a good idea.  
Tyler worriedly looked at me.

_"Oh really? Are you sure he's not insane or anything? I don't want to deal with him if he's insane."_

"He's not insane now... mom... I dunno what happened.. he woke up suddenly, and... we started talking, and catching up.. I love Tyler, mom... I love him so much."

 

 

 

"Josh, you sure about thi-"  
"Who cares about what she does. I don't wanna let you go." I said.  
Tyler blushed. "... I-...I guess I don't wanna let you go either..."  
I smiled at him.  
"I love you, Ty."

My mother arrived, looking at Tyler with disgust.  
".... hi mom." I said, my voice becoming nervous.  
"H-hello, Mrs. Dun..." Tyler held out his hand, a small expression of nervousness showed in his face.  
His voice was coated in literal sweetness.  
It always was.  
My mother had her focus glued onto his shut eye.  
"... hello, Tyler. It's Tyler, right? Josh talks about you a lot." She sounded kinda bored with herself.  
"Yes, haha... that's me."

"How did you first meet Josh?"

I never actually told her I was bullied.  
I forgot all about it when I came back.  
I glanced over.  
Tyler probably thought she knew.

"... did Josh not tell you...? Well, we were classmates. He was severely beat up everyday after school, and I guess I kinda... saved him. He stayed at my house so we got close." Tyler blatantly said.

"Beat up...? What'd they do to him?"

I slowly hid my face behind Tyler's shoulder.  
Is she going to get mad at me?

"They uh... they hurt him really badly, and... basically made him a slave. He was really really scared of them, and we ended up sticking together."

"Then, how'd you two separate?" She asked.

Why is she asking all of these questions?

  
"... I... I'm not sure. I guess people know about what I used to be able to do.. with the... 'alien' thing... I don't think I have it anymore, but.. I guess I got followed, and I was deemed dangerous, I tried to escape and just go home. I illegally got in a train, but I was just a kid, you know. I was really freaked out, and I just wanted to go home, and see my mom, and.. Josh.. but... I ended up seeing Josh in that train.-"

I wrapped my arms around his chest from behind.  
I suddenly felt like crying again.

"... we had a little fight, so I left the train.. in the worst way possible... haha..."

"My depression was back, and I didn't feel good about anything at that moment."

"So... I guess we didn't see each other for a really long time."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao when a bunch of shit happens and it's starting to end all of my ideas gal apart but don't worry I kNOW EHAT IM DOING I SWEAR-


	32. Among the Sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh never mind it gets worse lol goddammit fluff

__

"... so, it was.. Josh's fault, that you ended up like this.. and your life turned bad."

"Oh, oh no...! I'm not saying that at all... I'm just.....-" Tyler turned to me.

"I never heard this story before. Josh hid everything from me. He never talked about you. He was really sad for a long time, I guess.." she said.

"I-it's not Josh's fault..! I threw myself into this situation.." Tyler urgently shook his hands.

"Josh, don't cry anymore." My mom looked at me, her eyes sorta scaring me.

I meekly wiped my eyes.  
"R-right.."  
"S-so... can Tyler stay at our house now...?" I asked.

"I'll allow it for now."

 

"You can walk okay, right?"  
"Yeah, I guess so. Where are we going?" I grasped onto Tyler's hand, and grinned.  
"When you were unable to respond to me, I talked about you to this woman at this cafe. She made me feel better when I was really sad, so I want you guys to meet each other."  
"It's only a walk from the hospital." I added. "She's always there. Her name is Halsey."

  
I pushed open the door excitedly, and there she was.  
I couldn't help but smile giddily and hold onto Tyler's hand even tighter.  
I honestly had no idea what he was feeling, but Halsey put down the things in her hands.  
"Hi, um.." Tyler looked down at my overly happy expression.

"You must be Tyler." Halsey smiled at us.  
"Yep.. He apparently has been talking about me a lot to you, right..?"  
"Of course."

"He finally woke up...!" I jumped.  
"I can tell."  
"This is Halsey! There's still a bunch of other things I wanna show you.. and.. um..." my voice trailed off.  
I tried to seal my mouth shut. I was talking way too much.  
"So, how's it like with things back to normal?" Halsey asked us.

 

 

  
_TYLER_

 

 

After we left the cafe, Josh and I arrived at his house.

"Don't you want to sleep or something..?" He asked, timidly.  
"... I don't feel welcome here."  
He gave me a tiny punch in the shoulder.  
"O-ow...! I was kidding...!"

 

 

 

"You know... it'd be cool to live in our own house. Somewhere pretty." Josh said, as he swung his feet back and forth while sitting in a tall chair.  
He was wearing a t-shirt and shorts.  
"Like where?" I asked.  
"... the beach isn't so bad, right?"  
"I wanna be able to have walks there, and just simple fun."  
"Josh, are you sleepy?" I turned my head to him. He seemed so tired.  
"But still... maybe we could live near the beach somewhere. Somewhere far away."  
"Like where then?"

The two of us were stuck in my bedroom, hanging around, doing nothing.  
It was late, and we haven't slept yet.  
We just kept on talking and talking.  
We used to do this kinda thing in high school.

".. like... Cape Cod....?"  
"Cape Cod...? That's so far away from here. Are you really considering somewhere that far away....?" I asked.  
Josh didn't answer my question yet. He was probably avoiding it.  
I wonder how much he stayed up while I was in the hospital.  
"But.. it's pretty there. And it's quiet." He murmured.  
His voice seemed so dreary and small.  
His head started to dip down.

"Josh, you're falling asleep."  
"Then keep me awake..."  
"How?"  
"By talking to me..."  
"That won't keep you awake."  
"Then what else could we do...?"  
"Maybe you should just sleep."  
"But I still wanna talk with youuu..."  
I chuckled. He's so adorable.  
"Should I put you in bed?" I asked.  
"I wanna talk about future plans and stuff.."  
"We don't have to worry about that now."  
I gently picked him up.  
His arms clung onto my neck.  
"...I still want to talk with you though.."

"Talk to me in the morning, alright?"

"But Tyler....!"


	33. Alien kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aH YES HERE WE GO SUSPENSE IS BACK YEET

__

"Tylerrrr.... I still wanna talk about stuff..." Josh whined.  
"Oh come on. You're being a kid."

"I just missed you a ton." He whispered sadly into my ear.  
"..... I missed you too. But you should get some sleep now." I gently tucked him into bed.  
"... will we ever get married?" He asked, his voice trailing away.

"... sure...... of course....!" I smiled, and shut my eyes happily, as my head hovered over Josh, and I was content.

  
When I opened my eyes, I was in Josh's bed, holding onto him like he was a baby.  
He was still asleep, of course.  
He probably hasn't slept in days, depending on coffee and passing out every few weeks.  
I sat up, but Josh was still clinging onto my body.

 

  
Josh's mother and father learned to accept me, and the rest of his family also got used to having me around.  
My mom would sometimes come over and say hi.  
Me and Josh were happy being together, though Josh always liked to talk about Cape Cod.  
He sounded like a little girl talking about unicorns whenever it came up on his mind, in all honesty.  
And even as the years went by, Josh and I couldn't really stay at his parent's house.

"Maybe we could get a house at Cape Cod, if you wanna go so badly." I said.  
Josh instantly looked up.  
"R-really...? That's great..!" He smiled so brightly.  
He was so cute.  
"Sure, but why is Cape Cod different than any other beach...?"  
"Well.. I don't hear much talk about the place... and... I've been there when I was really little. I remembered it being really nice. Not only the beaches, but the whole place in general." He said, smiling wistfully.  
"...Aw."  
"B-but... I've always wanted to walk with someone there, and... it's really really oddly specific, but.. summer at a beach like that... I-it'd be so... nice... you know...?" His face went red and blushy.  
He looked so embarrassed to be talking like this.  
"B-but.... I find it really cool...! So... we'll go there.. right?"  
"If you want to go there so bad, then fine. I don't mind." I smiled at him.  
He gasped, and clasped his hands together.  
"Oh my gosh.. I feel so happy right now.."  
"For how long did you want to go to Cape Cod..?"  
"A long time."

  
"M-mostly.. with you."

 

 

 

After a month, Josh and I flew to Massachusetts, and we drove over to that place he was so excited over.  
It was a nice place, and we found a nice house a little bit above the beach.  
I was twenty six, and Josh was a year younger at that time.  
And he was right about walking in town.  
The world around me there seemed sort of... small, and friendly.

 

 

 

  
_"It's you again."_

  
_"You know... honestly... it's been so long. Why'd you come back?"_

  
_"Of course. You won't respond to me. You're odd, you know?"_

  
_"But... I'm happy now. Please don't change that. You've ruined most of my life, and Josh is here now. Right when everything is okay... why are you here?"_

  
_".... please don't wreck my life now."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh btw I live in Massachusetts and I love Cape cod but if you think Cape cod is shit then UR MEAN >:(  
> I'm kidding lol it's alright man


	34. Chapter 34

_"What do you want...?"_

  
_"Please just leave me and Josh alone."_

 

  
He appeared every now and then.  
Every few months.  
I disliked it.  
He scared me.  
Josh was thankfully oblivious, and I was the only one that could see the alien.

 

  
Josh was so busy working at home, though he seemed to always be focused on me.  
I loved him a lot for doing that,  
Though, he began to notice my sometimes paranoid behavior.

"What's wrong...?"

"Nothing. It's alright."

He was scared of making me annoyed at him, and he often tried to brush it away, only so he wouldn't badger me.  
He was honestly the sweetest thing ever.

 

  
There was this one night.

  
It was cool outside.  
The day was hot.  
The moon shone into the room, and rested on my face.  
Through the open window, I could hear the ocean gently fall into the land.

  
He was there.  
The alien.  
I was silent however, because Josh was behind me, asleep.

  
"What now....?" I muttered.

  
"....."

  
"Do you have anything to say...? If you do, just tell me.."

 

The alien slowly walked over to Josh.

I raised an eyebrow.  
He looked down at the sleeping boy's hands.

"... huh...?"

  
I stared down at my palms.  
".... I don't get what you're talking about."

Heck, he's not even talking. He's just making gestures.  
I'm so confused.

"... Tyler....? Why are you just randomly standing there..? It's late..." Josh mumbled.  
"I-is something there...? Who are you talking to...?"

".... I..."

"Hey... Ty... it's okay if you don't wanna tell me.. but.. I don't want you to feel unhappy for any reason..." he slowly sat up, and held out his arms for a hug.

"I-I...... you're way too sweet." I stammered out, and hugged him.  
He was warm, and his body looked so snug.  
We both ended up falling asleep in each other's arms.

Maybe I understand something now.

 

 

_JOSH_

 

  
"I'm sorry.. I've got to do something today."

It's what he always says.  
I'm... starting to feel upset.  
He leaves, and doesn't come back for hours.  
In the morning, he goes, and drives away, and comes back at night.  
I have no one to talk to but him.  
And.. there's no one I have but him.  
What does he even do....? I feel so confused.. and... lonely..

I heard the door open.

"H-hey... where'd you go today....?" I asked, as he tiredly walked towards me.  
"I-if you don't wanna answer.. it's okay.."  
He gave me a weird look.  
I winced, and as soon as he saw the pain in my eyes, his expression softened.  
"J-Josh.. did I neglect you....? Ah fuck... I.. I didn't realize..." he covered his face.

"No.. its... it's alright... I don't mind... but... where'd you go..?" I asked.  
"I... um... I didn't want you to be the only one working so hard.. so..."  
"T-Tyler... you don't have to do that kind of thing.. everything is stable, so you don't have to worry.."  
"..."  
"I'm sorry. I-it's really okay.. though... you don't need to get a job, or anything..."

  
"N-no... I should be the one who's sorry.. I... I just left you. I'm so sorry, Josh.."

 

  
"You.. can't quit, right?"

"Sadly, yeah.. I.. I dunno I just.."

"T-that's.. fine, I guess.. I hope everything goes well." I tried to smile at him.

  
I ended up picking up the habit of talking to random animals on the street, since I was always alone.  
Like cats.  
They were so silent, it seemed as if they were always paying attention to what you said, and were always listening to your vents, and sadness.  
I disliked saying 'Tyler' out loud.  
It wasn't his name, it just made me realize how lonely I was by talking to cats.

I got up from the bench, and at that moment, when I looked up from the ground, I noticed a tall figure.


	35. Oblivious.

_"I remember your face."_

_"For how long have you been with Tyler...?"_

 

Whenever he'd come home, he'd give me a big hug.  
I felt good whenever he hugged me. He never skipped a day. It was so wonderful.  
He tried his best to give me the most attention possible.  
But sooner or later, it felt like the moment he hugged me, time quickened, and he left to go to work again.  
Where was he even working...? I was so confused.  
What if he's actually...

  
Cheating...

On me...

My heart dropped to my feet.

  
I felt stupid, yet horrible.  
It was from that one time I saw it.  
Tyler's... ghost.  
Why did it look so much like me...?

Am I easily replaced..?

I tracked down Tyler from his phone.  
And I kept wondering if I should go after him.  
He'd probably get mad at me, and yell at me or something. I don't want that... but...  
I feel so... upset... over just this.

I rarely got to see his face anymore.

 

  
He was at a fancy restaurant.  
My heart stopped.  
I got mixed feelings.

What if he wasn't just working here...?  
I sheepishly opened the door.  
It was four in the afternoon.

"U-uhm... excuse me... I'm... looking for someone..."  
"Yes? Anyone at a table, or-"  
What if Tyler didn't work at all...?  
"... is there... a boy with an eye injury here...? At all...? Like an eyepatch...?" I asked, my voice quiet.  
I felt dumb.

"We have a waiter on our staff members, his name is Tyler."  
The heaviness in my back disappeared.  
"O-oh... okay.. could I please see him...?"

 

 

"Josh...? Is everything okay..? Wait... how'd you find out where I worked...?"  
I covered my eyes with my palms.

"... Tyler.. I... I just...."  
I feel so much like shit.  
I suddenly felt eyes on me.  
"W-why don't we talk somewhere else...?" He gently took me into a secluded area.  
I took a look at his uniform. A white shirt with a black vest, and pants. He looked so adorable, and formal.

"..... I.. please.." I choked out.  
"Please don't leave me at home anymore..."

"I'm beginning.. to talk to cats... there's nothing for me to do at home... and I'm so lonely... I just.. I just want to see your face more often..-" my voice shriveled up.

"You work... so far away. Even if I wanted to see you, I'd have to drive for so long, and I don't know if I'm willing to do that.. I just.. I just need to see you more often.. I feel so sick without you.." there was a lump in my throat.

I couldn't bear to open my eyes.  
He might be pissed at me.  
I was bracing for a slap on the face.

".... I'm... I'm sorry.." Tyler mumbled.  
  
I didn't exactly know what he was truly feeling.

"Can you.... please... just come back....? Please...?"  
"..... I will.."

  
Tyler didn't talk much later that afternoon.

I felt hollow, and empty. Did I do something wrong...?

 

  
The next morning, he was gone, and all the tears spilled out of my eyes.  
 _Something curled up in my back._

  
It was a nice sunset today. If only Tyler was here..  
The sky was blue, and the horizon was pink.  
Everything was sweet.

  
I drove to the place Tyler worked at again.

It really was a nice restaurant. I wonder how much money he earns here..

I didn't see Tyler inside.  
He might've been outside on the balcony.

  
I began to stomp as I walked.  
Though I felt more sad than angry.

And I saw him.  
Tyler was standing there, his back facing me, talking to a diner.  
He was wearing that same little cute uniform, and I felt like my soul had left my body.  
The beautiful sky hovered behind him, and the ocean below crashed against the rocks.  
Tyler turned around, and he stopped.

".... oh my god."

_It feels like.... something is hovering over me._

 

  
".... I... I'm so sorry..-" he tried to hug me.  
I pushed him away.  
My eyes singed with painful tears.  
He gave me a look of desperation when he saw my hands move him away from me.

".... you lied.. you lied again..." I whimpered.

".... a-am I... not important to you... anymore...?" Tears began to drip from my eyes at a rapid pace.

"Do you... not love me anymore...?" I tried not to grab much attention, but I sort of failed.  
My lips quivered, and my eyes were pouring.  
"No..! Of course not... please... hear me out..! I-I wanted to do something for you, and...-"

"I can't believe you anymore... I really can't..."

"You matter so much to me, Josh... please don't think that way...!" Tyler grasped my hands.

".... are you still lying....?" I whispered.

"No... no I'm not... please.. believe me..."

"Y-you... didn't talk to me the whole time yesterday..." my feelings swelled.

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking horrible." Tyler held my hands to his mouth.  
He looked like he was in regret.

"... I... I wanted to get you something.. it was meant to be a surprise, but I didn't rant to steal money from you, so I decided to work somewhere.."  
"Tyler... you know I wouldn't care..."

"I know.. but still.... it meant a ton to me..." he said.

"I got it today, and I was planning to give it to you later on..."

I noticed him pull out a small black box out of his pocket.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao


	36. Home.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I s h e g o n e ?

He went down on one knee.  
Time stopped.  
I was so confused, and lost.  
Is he doing what I think he's doing...?

Tyler looked down, stricken with despair.

  
"I don't know if you'll accept me now... but..."

"Um..."

  
Everyone had their eyes on us.  
I covered my face.  
I'm humiliating him. I hate this all.  
He looks so upset.

  
"Joshua... William.. Dun..."

 

  
I didn't know if my tears would be happy, or sad.  
I feel bad.  
I feel horrible.  
I can't stop crying.

I love Tyler so much.  
I really do.  
I can't ever understand anyone though, and no one will understand me.

 

  
_"... will you... marry me...?"_

 

 

I tried to hold back my choking sobs.

 

 

Tyler blinked uncontrollably, yet he couldn't bare to look at my face if I rejected him.

 

"I........" Small whispers escaped my mouth.  
I could see his eyes shut tightly, and his lips pursed together.  
My knees were weak as I peeked through my fingers.  
My legs wobbled.  
Finally, I dropped down, and reached for Tyler.  
He was still in the floor, on one knee, looking down at himself in regret.

  
"... yes.....! I'll marry you...!" I bawled.

 

 

 

  
Tyler lifted his head, a shocking feeling covered his heart.

"R-....really...?!" His arms looked heavy and small holding up that box.

I broke out into a teary smile.  
"Y-yes..."

He inhaled.  
He instantly pulled me into that hug I needed.  
"Oh... my god... Josh....! I'm so glad....!" He pulled me into a long kiss.  
My feelings all melted.  
"I love you so much... I was planning on quitting the job after this shift.. I wanted to get paid so I could buy you one more gift before I... proposed..." he looked to the side.  
"I knew you'd be upset if I came home from work.."  
My eyes were still dripping with sad and happy tears, I couldn't stop them, but I didn't make a sound.

Tyler gently took my hands again, and slipped the ring onto my finger.

  
"... it's so pretty...." I murmured.  
"It just looks pretty on you." He smiled.  
It felt like the people around us were disappeared.  
It was different.

They probably would have actually said something... if I was a girl.  
But I honestly didn't care anymore. I felt better alone.  
I almost humiliated Tyler in from of everyone.  
Even so, I never would have humiliated Tyler as well, in a way.  
Because I would never reject him.

 

  
He pulled me closer towards him.  
I felt so happy.  
I feel better.  
Way better.  
I'm glad.

 

"Um, sir... thank you for having me. I'm glad I worked here. I'll be quitting though, sadly. I don't want to neglect my boyfriend anymore."

 _".... or... you could say fiancé, but-"_  
I covered my face.  
I could feel Tyler grinning from a few meters away.  
"But.. I'll be quitting after this. Again... thank you so much. I got what I wanted.

 

"You take the bus...? No wonder you wake up so freaking early." I said.  
"Haha.. yeah.. it's still really far on its own."  
Tyler was holding onto my hand as we walked into the house.  
It was a bit dark outside, but there was still a sliver of sun on the horizon.

 

Everything was quiet, and we didn't know how to start talking anymore.  
We've been together for years. It's funny how easily things can get awkward...

  
"So... are we gonna call our family about this.. or..." I looked over to Tyler.  
"O-oh... right..! I'll text my mom.. and.."  
"I'll try to call my mom. I don't know how they'll react.." he laughed nervously.  
"Ugh- I don't want to call my family.. they're gonna pester me with questions and stuff..." I mumbled.

"Send your mom a picture of you wearing the ring or something." Tyler suggested.

"I cannotttttt take a picture of myself right now..." I whined, as I sluggishly rested my head against my arm.  
"Should I take it then...?" Tyler looked at my finger, rapidly tapping on the phone.  
I wasn't sure what to say to my mother.

"Wait wait, I wanna take a picture of you. Stay right there."

I didn't realize he was taking pictures of me so soon.  
"H-hey...!"

"Josh, hold my hand." Tyler was smiling. He reached out for me.  
I took it with no hesitation, yet curiously.  
He held on tightly, and leaned in to kiss me.  
It seems like forever since I've kissed him at home.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this chapter!


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